Running from once self
by Lone Voice
Summary: what if buffy had come back diffrent, not wrong, just changed and she has been hiding it. Post-Chosen, Femslash, feedback is welcomed. M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1 lost and found

The breeze was warm and the surf gently swirling along the rocks. The sun was bright, and the clouds in the sky lightly casting shade as they passed by. But the most beautiful of all was a young woman asleep in the shade of a tree, on a sea side cliff. Long blond hair braided and draped over her left shoulder, worn and faded jeans that had yet to gather holes and a plain white t-shirt and sandals. A book forgotten beside her and a small bag carelessly tossed at the base of the trees she dozed against. On her wrist was a watch that softly ticked away the seconds. She looked to be having a very pleasant dream but she was to get a rude awakening, the watch decided at the peak of her dream to beep a loudly warning signal that she was to be at work very soon. With a start and a small cry she tipped over with a light thud.

"Damn watch, just when it was getting good," giving it a death glare till seeing the time on its face. She panicked.

"DAMN IT!"

Scrambling up and gathering her things she rushed to the beach were a small dock and boat waited. Quickly storing her things and lowering and tying off the sails, then casting off the dock she set off for main land Greece.

* * *

"ANNA! You are late" bellowed a bear of a man in gruff Greek.

Anna, or as we all like to call her Buffy, skidded through the front door of the café/bookstore.

"I know, I know, but seeing as this is the first time in all the years I have been here can't you let it slip just this once Marcus?" she answered back and a slightly accented Greek. The big man that stood in front of her looked her up and down with a contemplating look. When Buffy started thinking the worst Marc smiled and wrapped her in his meaty arm for a hug.

"Sweet Anna, when your late your late, I'll let it go, now, off to the store room the bookshelves look light."

She could always count on Marc to be kind to her, he and taken her in when she has no place of her own, feed her sheltered her and eventually gave her a job in his shop. About seven years ago Marc was locking down the shop when he heard a bang at the front. Picking up his shoot gun thinking burglars opens the door only to find a haggard and dirty blond woman wearing clothes that had seen better days in the stoop of his door way.

"Were did you come from little one?"

And he picked her and the small bag she had up, relocked the door and brought her up to his home above the shop. After setting her down and wrapping her in a warm blanket, he started a fire that would last the night and keep his surprise guest warm and set off to bed as well.

The next morning he found himself up before dawn, making breakfast for the two of them. He had checked on her earlier and smiled when he saw her curled up like a cat in the sun, and he could have been hearing thing but she sounded like one to. Snapping out of his thoughts at hearing the soft foot falls behind him he guesses that the food smelled too good to pass up for sleep.

"Would you like some toast as well," not even turning, less the food burn and go to waste.

"Who are you?" She said in English, at this point she knew very little Greek.

Here he did turn and said in broken english, having spent some time there to visit family.

"So, you American?" Giving his best and most gentle smile to calm the look of panic he saw flick across her face.

"Yes I am. Did you bring me here?"

Giving a nod and another smile he loaded two plates with food and put them on the table. Pulling out the chair closest to the girl and taking the other he waited for her to join. When she did she picked up the fork and ate like a starved woman, which she was.

"Please, tell, how you come to be at my door step, please"

For a few moments she thought about it, but this man did not set off any of her warning bells and he had that gentle soul glow to him that made her want to trust him, so she told him. That she left her family, how she felt lost in the world now that her place in it was smaller, and how she traveled Europe and finally how she ended up at his door, she told him as little as he needed to know. Marc had nodded and sat in silence as Anne, the name she called herself, told her story, but not believing that he was getting the whole story. But through most of the morning and afternoon they talked and slowly became fast friends. When he heard that she had nowhere to go he offered her a place to stay and a job in his shop, she accepted and had stayed ever since.

* * *

It was a slow day at the shop and Marc and Anne mostly sat and talked about what they were going to do this weekend occasionally getting in up to help the rare customer. Buffy was once again thinking of taking her small boat to another island and spending the weekend reading and sleeping the day away. Marc was not surprised by this; ever since she had bought that boat she had been island hopping and spending time away from the big cities. She liked her space and he let her have it, she was like the daughter he never had and this was just her way of leaving the nest to find her own.

"Here Marc?" he looked up and smiled when he saw the steaming cup of coffee being handed to him.

"Ah Anna, you are too good for me, thank you" he took it and severed a sip.

Anne rolled her eyes, ever though she told him it was Anne he still called her Anna, he said it was his name for her. The bell rang again and Marc had gotten the last one so Anne got up and went to great them.

"Hi! How may…" she stopped mid great when she saw who it was.

"No… You're dead?"

"Hello Buffy" the sound of that sweet voice thought lost nearly had Buffy in tears.

"Tara?"

(this is my first chapter story and i would really like some feed back so that i can make later chapthers better and more enjoyable to read.)  
( could use a new name sor they story if anyone)


	2. Chapter 2 Past Friend

(Please feel free to make and comments or tips on how to make it better)

Disclaimer- I don't own Buffy-(but I wish I did XD!)

Chapter two- a past friend

Recap- "No… You're dead?"

"Hello Buffy" the sound of that sweet voice thought lost nearly had Buffy in tears.

"Tara?"

* * *

After all the shock had worn off, drought set in and mass amounts of hope that maybe she was real. Marc had closed the shop early so that Anne and her friend could have a quite place to talk and business was slow any way and he might as well start his week end early. Buffy stood there in wonder with thoughts like, 'how could this be? She died' 'what happens now?' she could barely ever think straight. So confused she was that she started to sway on her feet.

"Oh sweetie be careful, here sit down" the kindness helped the hope.

"How are you alive Tara?" scratching out poorly contained hope and sadness.

"What do you mean? I never died" the look in her eyes showed that she really was sincere about her confusion.

"Would you like something to drink? This is going to take awhile." Seeing the nod she got up and grabbed two bottled waters from the café.

As Buffy sat back down, she thought about the last ten years. Of how Tara, or really a copy of her, had comforted her greatly after her return from heaven and she had felt so dead inside. How she felt lost enough that she had to run away from her family and friends. And that spark in her soul that had gone out when Tara had left. But it was back now and with vegans. She had always felt it, a low slow burning flame in the pit of her heart. It was funny really how she always thought of it as friendly love and pushed it aside so Willow could be happy. But now, seeing her again after all this time… she broke down.

"God Tara, it is you" and just like the last time got on her knees and laid her head in Tara's lap and cried.

She didn't need any fancy spells or potions to know that the real Tara was back. The connection they had was all they needed.

"Shhh… it's alright Buffy, I'm right here" gently running her hand over the crying girls head and lightly rubbing her back.

They sat there and said nothing, they didn't need to. When Buffy's tears finally stopped she looked up into that sweet face with a beautiful crooked smile and warm blue/green eyes. She smiled and sat back up in her chair. Up screwing the cap on her water, she took a swig. In

"How are you Tara?"

"I've been worse" that smile again.

"Really now, can you tell me what you have been doing since you left?"

"Well for a few years I lived with a coven that my mother had told me about in Washington so I went there, I heard about the battle and prayed to the Goddess that you all got out alive" she too had a sip of water.

They spent the rest of the day catching up and everything began winding down as the sun set.

"Would you like to join me on a boat ride to the Aegean islands and maybe you can tell me how you came to be in Greece?"

The smile that got her warmed her heart. Buffy asked if she was staying any were and got a no so she asked if she wanted to stay here tonight. Tara nodded and picked up her bag and followed Buffy up stairs. When the hit the landing Buffy took the right hand hall just off the stair well and then opened the second door they passed.

"This will be you room for as long as you choose to stay that first door is the bathroom my rooms across the hall and Marc's is the last on the right the other is his office." Then walked off saying she was going something for them to eat.

* * *

After putting away her luggage Tara explored the rest of the flat. It was roomy and had that lived in quality that you can only get with age. She also thought about the cores of event that lead her here. At first it was only a slight tug every now and then when she first left Willow but as the years passed that tug became a need and then dreams. The last one had been only that morning and in it she was making love to Buffy on a deserted island under the sun. she has see a ship docked and had had out the name 'The Little Fish' and had seen the Greek flag waving in the wind, It was then she knew were she needed to go. She had packed and flew off to Greece and then followed the pull from there.

When she had found Buffy she had watched her through the window of the shop. Her hair was longer; she looked more toned the she remembered. A full ten mines had passed before she could rack up the nerve to walk in. But she had and she couldn't be happier.

* * *

Tying her hair back Buffy pulled out a large griddle and placed it over the open flames. Pulling out some cheese and butter and putting them next to the bread she stirred the tomato soap. When the griddle was hot enough she buttered some bread sliced some cheese, put the bread buttered side down and then placed the cheese then the other slice of bread the butter side up. Making three more and then getting out bowls she heard Tara walk into the kitchen.

"Hope you like grilled cheese and tomato because that all we have right now." Then she ladled the soup into a small bowl for Tara and then a bigger one for herself. Tara laughed at that.

"I wonder which one is mine" she asked then took the bigger bowl causing Buffy to pout.

"Hey!"

"Sorry I couldn't help it" and gave the bowl to Buffy accepting the plate with a sandwich on it, then giggled at seeing the three on Buffy's plate.

"I see you have an even bigger appetite then the last I saw you sweetie." Buffy blushed.

"Well some things have changed since then." She started eating for dinner.

Tara was confused at the abrupt change in mood, what had she said? They ate in thick silence, Buffy was beating herself up for snapping and Tara because she was unsure. But when the air was to tense Tara spoke up.

"Were we going tomorrow?"

"To one of my favorite Islands, it's not too far from the main land and it has a few small towns on it, it's a well hidden market place that, when you're with the right people, you can pretty much anything."

"How do you know of it then?" and again it seems she asked the wrong question because Buffy clamed up again.

"I just do ok…"she sighed

"look Tara I'll tell you just not hear ok, Marc doesn't know about me and I would like to keep it that way please."

Tara nodded.

"Ok Buffy… So is Marc your lover?"

Buffy had just taken a spoon full of soup and ended up spraying half the table with it.

"WHAT! Marc and I, No we are not like that, he took me in he has been more like a third father to."

Through the whole rant Tara had been laughing, it was just too funny pass up this chance. Getting up and getting the towel that was hanging by the sink she handed it to Buffy still giggling.

"I'm sorry Buffy, really, but watching you just now was just too much."

"Ya Ya, laugh it up you'll get yours" and then wiped up her mess grumbling something about saltwater.

"Oh don't be like that Buffy I haven't laughed like that in a long time" Tara was still grinning.

"Well I'm glad I gave you a reason to laugh like that again, I hope… I hope I can make you laugh like that more often."

They smiled at each other, the link between them throbbed, and Buffy looked away knowing that if she didn't Tara would see something she would not like. Getting up Buffy picked up the dishes and placed them in the sink for cleaning later. Not ever turning around she said.

"It's time for bed Tara, we have to get up early it we want to be there at a decent time." Giving Tara a hug, still not looking at her fearing they were still there, and headed off to bed.

"Even after all this time she is still a loner" a gruff voice said from behind her scaring her.

Twisting around, she spotted Marc and breathed a little easier.

"Really, how is that?"

"For about seven to eight years now and I still know little about her past, wouldn't let me to close, you're the only thing that I know of now, and even then you had to walk through the door" sighing and pushing off the door frame he continued.

"Please, get her to open up." Not waiting for an answer he turned and left.

Looking out the small kitchen window gazing at the stars she could see she prayed for strength, she was going to need it, then she to, got ready for bed.

(rewiew please, tips, coments, anything really)


	3. Chapter 3 Island Dreams

Disclaimer- I don't own Buffy

Summery- what if Buffy had come back different, not wrong just different.

Chapter 3- Island Dreams

Recap- "For about seven to eight years now and I still know little about her past, wouldn't let me to close, you're the only thing that I know of now, and even then you had to walk through the door" sighing and pushing off the door frame he continued.

"Please, get her to open up." Not waiting for an answer he turned and left.

Looking out the small kitchen window gazing at the stars she could see she prayed for strength, she was going to need it, then she to, got ready for bed.

* * *

The window was left open last night. The sharp chill in the air gives claim to that. Pulling the covers over her head Buffy groans. Last night's events replaying in her mind. Tara had started asking for answers to questions that she couldn't give at the time. But she didn't want Marc pulled into her life any more then he already has.

With another groan she flips over and looks out the window. It was maybe about an hour or two before sun rise, explaining the cold. Hearing a gentle trill of a bird's song, she looks more closely at the window. There in the corner of the frame, a family of song birds had made their nest.

'Well, I don't mind the cold any way.'

Getting up softly as not to alarm the birds she stretches and takes a quick peek into the nest, there were roughly four eggs, if there were more the father was sitting on them. Gently walking over to her dresser and picking out the days wears she slips out the door and to the bathroom.

When in the shower Buffy thinks back to that day she first felt that pull to Tara. She had finally cracked and confessed her sins in the other girls lap. That night something shudders between them, and whatever it was snapped what little control she had. She self the force explode in the chest and when she opened her eyes the world looked sharper, she could feel something crawling under her skin wanting out. Fear was the only thing keeping it at bay.

There was a knock at the door.

"Buffy are you in there" it was Tara.

"Ya, I am just, give me a sec" and she grabbed her towel.

* * *

The sun was winking from the horizon when they had everything ready to go. Tara was enjoying the scooter ride, wind in her hair, only slightly bumpy roads, and the gentle sway of the scooter as it turns. She was having fun, she was in Greece with the one she loved even thou that person doesn't know that, yet. But now the ride was over and she had to let go, so giving Buffy a squeeze she stepped off.

The bay was full of colored sails, like misshaped clouds on the water. Taking a deep breath Tara felt invigorated and last night a distant memory. Smiling she followed Buffy down to her boat, it was mostly painted white but she could see strips of green waving among that sides. It was smaller than its fellows next to it, but seeing the name it made since.

"The Little Fish" something tickled in the back of her mind.

"Like it, I named her that because she was the smallest ship in the yard when I bought her, I thought it fitting."

Nodding, she goes to clime aboard, stopping when Buffy tells her to take her shoes off.

"Why?"

"Because" was all she said but there was a smile ghosting at her lips.

Shrugging, she takes them off and gets on the boat. When her feet hit the flooring, she knows now why Buffy asked her to take off her shoe. It was like she had stepped into another world. She could feel the rocking of the boat through her feet. The air seemed cooler on the boat, fresher, cleaner.

"Told you" and Buffy climes on.

"Just sit back, for a bit, I need to cast off."

Sails drawn, riggings tightened, Buffy untied the ropes from the dock, wound them on the side hooks and pushed off. Getting out of the marina was slow but Buffy said that they didn't want to hit any of the other boat. When they hit open water Buffy flew into action, letting out more sail and distributing weight, she even went as far as telling Tara to sit at the bow of the boat, not the very front but close.

"Do you sail a lot?" it was funny kind of, this girl could barley drive a car and here she was sailing like it was second nature.

"Sometimes on the weekends"

"How long have you been sailing?" that one had Buffy thinking.

"About six years now I think."

"That's a good number"

"I didn't have much else to do in my free time"

After that, they sailed in peace, the sound of the sea providing music. They were heading south east, and at times you could see another boat off in the dissents. At one point they even saw dolphins.

"There is a saying that if a sailor sees one it will bring them luck"

"Why is that?"

"They guide the way I think?"

"Sounds nice, but are we lost?"

Buffy was lost in thought again. And in a soft voice she said.

"I don't know any more."

* * *

The rest of the ride was smooth sailing, quite, but smooth. When they had gotten to the island that tickling feeling at her mind was back. She had seen this before, but where? Looking to the right, there is a cliff, that nagging again, and before she knows it she's walked all the way up to the top. The breeze rushes in and triggers the memory.

"The dream, I can't believe?" It was barley a whisper.

"What dream?"

Looking over her shoulder at Buffy, she asked.

"Buffy, the other day, did you have a dream that morning?"

The look of confusion morphed into a look of shock.

"Yes, yes I did, how…" the look o f shock shifted to wonder as she remembered her dream.

"I was in it wasn't I?" turning she stepped closer to Buffy.

"This is unreal, after years of not seeing…" she looked up a Tara, the sparking Blue eyes held something in them that took her breath away.

"I know Buffy, but these this happen for a reason, maybe, we just were not ready?"

"We shared that dream, and that _**was**_ you!"

The Smiles on Tara's face could have been the sun its self it was so bright. Taking the last few steps and reaching out and gently cupping Buffy's face in both her hands she lowers her head till their foreheads were touching.

"Yes" and then she kissed her.

(Cliffy like don't you think XD! Sorry for taking so long but thank you for reading, Review please and thank you.)


	4. Authors Note

Author's note-

I am sorry but I have some writers block. I know how I want the story to go but I can not come up with a good chapter 4. If anyone has any ideas I would like to hear them. Till then the story is on hold till I can hack out the next chapters.


	5. Chapter 4 Fears

(Please review! I'm needy, plus I work better with feedback. So please FEED MY NEED XD!)

Disclaimer- I own nothing Buffy

Chapter 4- Fears

Recaps-

"We shared that dream, and that _**was**_ you!"

The Smiles on Tara's face could have been the sun its self it was so bright. Taking the last few steps and reaching out and gently cupping Buffy's face in both her hands she lowers her head till their foreheads were touching.

"Yes" and then she kissed her.

* * *

Warmth, a hazy all consuming warmth. And velvet brushed her lips, she tasted mango and a mint long dissolved. The feelings were like someone had stuck a live wire to the base of her skull. But no matter how much she wanted to keep kissing Tara, she felt the power building. She had to get away before everything went south, before she saw the demon in her. So with as much will as she had left she pulled away from that sweet mouth. Dropping her head before she opened her eyes, and when she did her fears were confirmed. The world was sharper in every way, sounds, taste, even the lingering smell of Tare's perfume from yester day. Buffy wanted to cry, this had to happen now, and here, it was unfair. But Buffy would try, at least till she got control again. So taking a deep breath, and letting it out slowly she growled out.

"I'm sorry" and she ran.

"BUFFY!" but it was useless, Buffy was now deep in the forest.

Everything rushed by in a blur, one seconded she was standing in front of Tara, the next, in a small cave that she had made her own the first time she came to this island. Looking back now, when she had learned about what she was she had panicked, big time, and in that panic she had packed a bag, ready to leave, because she didn't want to cause harm to any of her family. But, learning about the First and seeing her family's fear she had made her stay, till at least they had won. And the beast had stayed quiet, but then they had won and were moving to Scotland to make a new home for the Scooby's and their families, Buffy knew that now was the time to run. They had all settled and with all the S.I.T's turned slayers, she really wasn't needed. Her only regret had been Dawn, but she sent post cards to her and her alone, no return address, just bare bones updates about her life and how much she missed her. Crying out and smashing a chunk out of the wall, the beast surged forth with a savage roar.

* * *

"Where are you Buffy?" Tara was confused, then again, since seeing Buffy again what was new.

Tara didn't even bother to run after her, not because there was no way for her to catch her, but it was an island, Buffy would be back when she was ready. So Tara sat on the cliffs edge from her dream, thinking about everything and nothing. And she watched the sun set and listened to the waves softly sound below. She could understand better now why Buffy loved this Island so much, it was calm here, away from the city noises and the cries at night. She was close to drifting off when she heard the roar from the woods, jumping to her feet Tara readied a spell.

'Buffy!?' she was still out there.

But Tara had no time to go find her, because what ever made that sound was coming her way. The undergrowth in front of her thrashed and snapped. She saw a flash of something to her left and reacting purely on years of fighting the darkness; Tara cast a shield spell around her. And the animal bounced off it. Or at first she thought it was, and then she had a closer look at it, whatever it was stood on two legs, not four. The hair was a light golden brown, and it had clothes on.

'Some sort of wear animal? But what kind or wear stand on two legs?' she went to step closer but the wear moved.

Keeping the shield in place Tara watched it stand up. And when it did she nearly lost all focus after seeing its face and in a whispered voice saying.

"Oh Buffy… What happened to you?"

* * *

'Here, mate here' this was the first time Buffy had lost total control over her other half, she sat in the back of her mind listening to the wilder's thoughts. She could feel everything that it felt, the need to hunt, to feed, to mate with its mate, but confusion as well, and then she saw what the wilder saw. Tara stood before them, shield in place and a look of awe splashed on her face. Then it clicked, the shield was blocking Tara's smell. The wilder could smell trace amounts of her smell in the area, but the source was gone, but she could see her.

"M...Mat…mate…?" the words were broken, but it was only because it was the first time this side had ever spoken aloud.

Walking forward again the wilder hit the shield, and doing so she let out a soft growl at it, she wanted her mate. Putting her hands against the shield and pressing hoping that her great strength would break it, but it was no use, Buffy then felt something new well up in their body, power.

With her hands on the shield she looked into the eyes of her mate. Nothing would keep her away from her mate, and then shoved the power that had been building in her arms into the shield and shattered it and rushed forward.

* * *

Tara watched as Buffy tried to get through, heard the halting word of mate, looked into those eyes of melted gold and witnessed her shatter the shield. She felt strong arm wrap around her as the force of the impacted made them fall. The wind was knocked out of her and was slightly out of it, but when the world stopped spinning, she felt the weight on top of her and a rumbling, Buffy was purring.

Tara couldn't help but smile in contentment. It felt like home here in these arms. Wrapping her own arms around the form on her, Tara sat them both up. Buffy still clung to her but now burrowed into her shoulder and inhaling her sent. Rubbing her back and feeling something underneath the shirt Tara reached under and felt…

"Fur" Buffy was covered in a thin layer of fur!

Running her hand over and scratching it some more caused Buffy's purring to get louder.

They cuddled and held each other for a time. Both were lavishing in the feelings flowing through them. When Buffy licked her throat, it sent a shot of arousal down her spin and between her legs. The purring deepened and Buffy pulled back. Those eyes, caught Tara's and held them, looking deep Tara could see the wild need but she saw something else there.

"Mate…what…wro…wrong?" she had seen the confusion.

"Nothing, really" it was weird; Tara felt no fear here with this being.

"Th…then what?" she was getting better.

"You are the slayer" It was a simple fact but also a question.

"Yes"

"You do not look as the first slayer did, why"

The wilder did not want to talk, she wanted to mate, but the voice of her host wanted to know as well. So she stood up and moved back a few steps, just far enough away but still close to touch, she started her story.

"The slayer you saw was not the true first slayer"

"What?"

(well do ya like it so far? like above, please review, I'm working on the next chapter, thanks for reading)


	6. Chapter 5 Dream of old

Chapter 5- Dream of old

Disclaimer- I own nothing Buffy

(Almost 700 hits people, I'd say I was doing a ok job XD don't you XP!)

Recap-

"The slayer you saw was not the true first slayer"

"What?"

* * *

The wilder nodded and sat back on her hunches, getting comfortable but ready for action if needed.

"Yes, the slayer you meet was the first of its kind but there was another before it."

Tara was dumfounded, with all the researches that Willow had told her about when the slayer had entered their dreams, how could they have not found anything like this? So she asked.

"Why is there no recorded of it?"

"Because…" the wilder grabbed her head. She swayed were she sat and stuck out an arm to try and stop her fall, but that didn't happen and she hit the ground passed out.

"BUFFY!" what was happening? But then the form on the ground started to shift back to Buffy's original body. Gently placing her head in her lap Tara waited for her to wake up. She didn't have to wait long; for a soon as buffy was back she opened her eyes.

"Hay Tara" and gave a weak smile, causing Tara to smile back.

"What happened?"

Giving a sigh Buffy sat up.

"I don't remember much but I think it was too much for my body to take"

"What do you mean?"

"That's the farthest that the change had ever gone and the first time I was not in control."

"What is she Buffy?"

"It's complicated Tara but I really think we should be heading home" with that said Buffy tried to stand but instantly toppled over.

"Looks like you'll be doing most the work Tara" another smile but this one a little sorry.

Tara shacks her head.

"That's ok sweetie, I don't mind" and helped Buffy to stand and walked them both back to the boat.

When they got back, Tara sat Buffy at the wheel.

"Ok Tara, now untie the ropes from the dock and push off."

When that was done they spent the most of the ride home giving Tara a crash cores in sailing.

* * *

When they got back to the store Marc was waiting for them.

"Dear Anna, it happened again didn't it?"

Buffy only nodded.

"But it was stronger this time"

Marc sighed and picked her up and took her up stares leaving Tara confused face at the door.

Catching them up Tara saw Marc lay sleeping Buffy in her bed.

"I thought that you didn't know?"

"Not much, all I know is that she goes to that island to change that is all she has ever told me."

The air was a little tight but Tara asked.

"What all has she told you?"

"That she is some sort of shifter, and she only told me that because I followed her one day a few years back."

"That's all? For nine years that she has been in your care that's all you really now about her?"

Marcus shrugged.

"She is a privet person and I respect that, but I do know that she was trying to protect me by doing so."

That's Buffy Trying to play even when she's been out of the game.

"Let's let her sleep, she going to need it." And they both walk out and to their own rooms.

Back in her own room Tara ponders what is to happen next. She knows that Buffy cannot stay here, no matter how much she wants to. Whatever happened to give Buffy this power it was for a reason and whatever that reason is it's not going to be of the good. Sighing Tara pulls the blankets back and gets into bed and asleep when her head hits the pillow.

_

* * *

_

There were trees in every direction and it was so quiet. The sky above was in the first stage of twilight. Where was she? Turning in circle the clearing she was in, she spotted a path and started to follow it.

_For a ways it was straight but then is curved and sloped and fell. There were other paths that branched off the main, she even tried to take another but when she would turn to take it the path was gone, so with little choice she stayed on the main path. _

_When she had thought that there would never be an end, the forest started to thin, when it opened to a field of wheat and plumes of smoke rising up from a small village. Racing through the field she saw monsters ravishing and killing every living soul that lived there. Out of instinct she reached for a weapon but there was none. Looking around for anything that would work, she spotted a small wheat cutting blade. When she tries to pick it up her hand passes right through it._

'_What!'_

_Trying again the same thing happened, she tried for a stone, a branch, the wheat, but she could touch nothing. But heard everything, smelled everything that was happing, screams of death and the smell of blood and gore reeked in the air around her. _

_Guilt racked her stomach twisting it in painful knots. Falling to her ass in at the edge of the village and covering her head, did nothing but block the sight from her. All night she sat there as the creatures burned the now lifeless town. Why was she here? _

_When dawn glittered over the mountains the beast finally left. She got smiled weakly when the sun caught a few vamps in its light. Getting up, she walked through the many burned and ruined huts that dotted the once thriving village. The smell of burning flesh was too much and she ran into the wind letting it blow away the scent of death. When she reached the other side of the village she saw five figures in fur robes standing and talking amongst themselves. _

"_This can go on no more" cried a man with a curling horns hanging from his shoulders._

"_What would you have up do?" said another with long fathers sawed to his hood._

_They all pounded that for a few moments. _

"_We need something that will hunt and protect us from the beast of black" Said a man with blue stones on his rope._

"_How would be do that?" this from the tree bark._

_That last man stood in silence; he wore a red fur rope._

_They fought amongst themselves, each with his own idea of how to fight of the demon, Red fur said nothing. _

_She was so confused, they only things she knew was that she must be somewhere during the beings of man. And she had a sickening feeling she knew what was going to happen._

_When the sun had almost touched the west, the man with the red fur said something._

"_We need a fighter of our own that we can use to combat that dark beasts."_

_The others stopped to listen._

_Red fur turned to face his companions. _

"_We will join the power of a dark beast to a human that we control."_

"_But what will we do when it dies? It would take a lot of power to make even one like you say."_

"_We will make it so that another is called when it falls."_

_All the roped figures turned to the horses that were tethered to the tree line._

"_Come let us go home and discus this more."_

_They all mounted and turned south. Then Stone said._

"_What will we call are fighter?"_

_Red fur thought a moment._

"_We will call it, a Slayer"_

* * *

Buffy jerked and sat up. It was another fucking slayer dream, but this one showed what was, not what will. Plus there was too much clarity, no riddles, no choppy picture, and just straight fact.

Cradling her head in her hands and sighing, she knew something big was going to happen, something bigger then what had happened with the first and her.

Buffy turned to look at the window, hearing the song birds, they had beautiful colors. They almost resembled canaries, but they were bigger and were multiple colors instead of just one. Buffy was not a bird lover but she knew many of Greece's native birds. These she could not name, she had never seen them before.

She watched as the male and female took turns sitting on the eggs and going to get something to eat. She did not know how long she sat and watched them, but when the sky outside turned a light blue; it was time to get up.

Getting out of bed Buffy got dressed and got ready for another day. And boy what a day it was going to be.

(please review, after a small writers block phase i think i pulled this chapter off well)


	7. Chapter 6 Lets go home

Chapter 6- Lets go home

Disclaimer- I own nothing Buffy

Song- "Never Saw Blue" By:Hayley Westenra

Recap-

She watched as the male and female took turns sitting on the eggs and going to get something to eat. She did not know how long she sat and watched them, but when the sky outside turned a light blue; it was time to get up.

Getting out of bed Buffy got dressed and got ready for another day. And boy what a day it was going to be.

* * *

The aroma of pancakes filled the air as Tara wiped up another bowl of batter and piled plates full for Marc and Buffy. She knew that Buffy was going to need it after the night she had, from not only the shifting, but from the nightmare that she heard her have. That was the down side of having a room across the hall. Looking up when she heard Marc enter, smiling she put a plate down in front of him.

"If you can't eat it all, no worries, just give it to Buffy"

"I heard that, and you are so lucky I like you" ruffed out a still blurry eyed Buffy pointing a finger at Tara and rubbing her eye with the other.

"I know you did Honey, that's why I said it" giving back a teasing crooked smile.

"MARC! Tara's picking on me, make her stop!"

Marcus laughed; this was a new side of Buffy that he had not had the joy of seeing before. She was a kid again, if only for a moment, he saw the innocents in her wanting out, but years of hardship had buried away. Having Tara here was a blessing, she made his Anna smile again.

"I would Anna, but, she is making me laugh and as they say 'Never pass up a good laugh' they are too rare these days, especially from you dear Anna."

The look of sadness on her face was enough of an apology for him, reaching over with his bear of an arm and half hugged her.

"One day, sweet Anna, one day."

They ate the rest of their meal passing back small jokes and poking fun at each other. The store had to be cleaned and put in order for tomorrow so Buffy and Marc cleaned up their plates and went down stairs. Leaving Tara to whatever devises she wanted.

* * *

Buffy hauled out the mop and bucket from the closet and filled the bucket with water and floor soup. Marc had started to dust and alphabetize the books.

As Buffy let the bucket sit, she started to move chairs and tables and stake them up in a corner. Half-way through with dusting, Marc turned on his personal radio. A song had Just started, one of the things you would never believe about Marc was he was a sucker for love songs; he had found a station that played mostly love song and had stayed there. Buffy had made the mistake of changing it, let's just say that she does not like salt as much as she uses to.

Buffy was roused from her thoughts when the lyrics started.

_'Today we took a walk up the street,  
We picked a flower and climbed a hill above the lake  
Secret thoughts, u said aloud,  
We watched the faces in the clouds  
Until the clouds have blown away  
Were we ever somewhere else u know  
It's hard to say'_

The singer had such a beautiful voice. But something about this song just caught her.

_'I never saw a blue like that before  
Across the sky, around the world  
You're giving me all u have and more  
No one else has ever shown me how  
To see the world the way I see it now, oh I  
I never saw a blue like that'_

Hearing this song just made her think of Tara, and her eyes. Thinking about how everyone thought her dead. And feeling the loss of that kind and giving soul.

_'I can't believe  
A month ago I was alone  
I didn't know u, I've never seen you, or heard your name  
And even now, I'm so amazed it's like a dream  
It's like a rainbow, it's like the rain  
Some things are the way they are and words just can't explain'_

Buffy didn't ever notice she had been crying, but no matter what she did the tears wouldn't stop.

_'I never saw a blue like that before  
Across the sky, around the world  
You're giving me all u have and more  
No one else has ever shown me how  
To see the world the way I see it now, oh I  
I never saw a blue like that before_

Buffy turned when she hears footsteps behind her, only to be caught in those blue eyes. Blue eyes that had pulled at her to get closer, and so she did. Gently laying her head on Tara's shoulder and folding her arms against her chest and over Tara's heart. Tara wrapped her arms around Buffy and started to dance.

_It feels like now, it feels always,  
And it feels like coming home'_

It was like coming home when she was in Tara's arms, seeing that sparkle in those blue eyes with flecks of green. Tara had taught every one so much, given so much of herself without expecting anything back.

_'I never saw a blue like that before  
Across the sky, around the world  
You're giving me all u have and more  
No one else has ever shown me how  
To see the world the way I see it now, oh I  
I never saw a blue like that before'_

They swayed on the spot, simply holding one another. Buffy started to cry, years of pent up emotions flooding her. Tara just let her, knowing that she needed it, and still they danced.

_'Oh, oh I, I never saw blue like that'_

* * *

When the last cored stopped they stopped. They stood there for a few long seconds till the spell was broken by the next song. Letting go, they both sets of eyes meet, one hazel the other blue/greenish. Both held depths of emotions that scared them and gave them hope.

"I… I want to go home Tara… will you join me?"

Tara stayed quiet, when she didn't answer Buffy started to panic, had she got it wrong?

"Tara… Say something" her voice was strained, scared. But then she saw the glint in her eyes. She was playing with her!

"Tara! That's not nice, what are you trying to do give me a heart attack?" and she swatted her arm causing Tara to giggle.

"I am sorry Buffy but that was funny" and broke up into fits of giggles.

Buffy smiled, she could see the humor now, but she still wanted and answers.

"So Tara, what do you say, will you stay here or will you come with me?"

Tara face glowed with a thousand watt smile.

"Oh Buffy, how could my answer be anything but yes."

Now it was Buffy turn to glow, the smile on her face could have powered all of Athens for months.

"I'm happy you said that, I don't want to leave you behind" and pulled Tara in for a kiss.

The link between them hummed a gentle pleasing hum that warmed their very souls. When they pulled back to get some air the hum mellowed but it was still there. With their body fitted together in a hug, Buffy whispered into Tara's ear.

"Let's go home."

(ok this will maybe be the only songfic i do, i dont know, if you like it then ill find a way to work in another but, if not, thats ok. so please review, ill be taking poles as to how many want another song fic and who dose not)


	8. Chapter 7 Truths

Chapter 7- Truths

Disclaimer- I own nothing Buffy, Legrena is a real place but I know nothing about it, I'm just using its name.

Recap-

With their body fitted together in a hug, Buffy whispered into Tara's ear.

"Let's go home."

* * *

They had finished with the store and had told Marc they were going to the park.

And after a short thumb war as to how they would get there, Tara won, her choice, the scooter. Starting up the little red scooter and handing Tara the only helmet they set off.

The park was located almost in the center of the city. The greatest thing about Legrena was that it was an out of the way city, it still held onto most of its roots, like its park.

Some of the town's people say that it's never been touched and they let it grow how it wants and they work around it. Some of it has even started to grow over the roof tops. There was a story about the heart of the park held a mystical place, but only to lover.

Parking the scooter on the side walk and pulling her hair into a ponytail, Buffy waited for Tara to grab the small picnic that they had brought. When everything was set Buffy took Tara's hand and led her into through the gates.

Next to sailing this was her favorite place to be. The park was like a small forest, and whenever Buffy came here, she felt calmer and more at peace with herself. She also knew that the story about this place had some truth to it. The power that ran through this place was testament to that.

"Buffy, do you feel that" the awe in her voice was noticeable.

"Yes I do" they had reached the old willow tree that grew in the heart of the park.

"What is this place?"

"The locals say that it had been here longer then the even the Greek history."

"That's a long time, but this tree dose look like its seen many years."

The willow trunk was so wide around that you need about 5 to 6 people to ring it comfortable. The branches were gnarled and thick, forming a canopy over a small stream that ran along side it.

Tara took a deep breath and became dizzy with the freshness of the air.

"My goddess Buffy, it's beautiful."

Buffy pulled out a ham sandwich and slowly peeled away the plastic. She knew what was to come next, and she knew she had to fess up.

"Buffy you know you can't stay here" the concern in Tara's voice made her sigh and sit at the base of the tree.

"I know."

They only sound that they hear was the soft bubbling of the stream. The Tara once again broke the silence.

"Buffy, what happened to you?"

Buffy said nothing as she took a bit of her food.

"Buffy… please talk to me" that worked.

"You were wrong… I did come back wrong… or different any way."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know really, but I do know that when I came back something in me was changed. At first I thought it was being pulled from heaven, but one night as I was patrolling, something happened."

Tara sat on a large rock and stayed quiet, knowing that's what Buffy needed.

"I was surrounded by vamps, I was losing, and badly, but at that one point I didn't care. I just wanted it all to end, but, as one of the vamps took a cheap shot at me to the ribs, something snapped in me, or woke up more like it. The next thing I know I'm ripping them to shreds with claws and fangs."

She stopped to shack the memory away. That night had almost made her run made her see that she had come back wrong.

"Then I ran into Spike and… and he knew he was able to hit me, so using that and what I had just learned, well I wasn't in the best of places."

Balling up the wrapper and shoving it into her pocket, Buffy bought some time.

"After everyone found out where I was and what I was doing with Spike… you leaving… I… just broke, remember, that night, I kept asking you not to forgive me?"

She remembered, and well, that was the night that she was going to tell Buffy that she was going to leave and this time, she was not coming back. But when she saw Buffy's aura, everything was so disjointed and off that it almost made her sick to watch it jerk and tear right in front of her. When Buffy had cried in her lap, her heart was torn.

Willow was using magic left and right without a care, Xander had run off leaving behind a shattered Anya, Dawn was acting up to get attention, and Buffy… Buffy needed her, they all needed her. It was too much for her, she could only stretch so far.

But that night also reinforced her choice to leave, because that night… she had found her true soul mate. And it scared the shit out of her. Because all this time and she had never seen it, but she loved Willow. Somewhere between her gentle shootings and tears, an infant bound had formed. She had felt it that night, the beginnings of the shift, but she had written it off and the soul bound.

Sighing Tara got up and sat next to Buffy.

"That night was the beginning, wasn't it?"

"Yep, I held together long enough to see everyone settled and then I ran."

"Why Greece"?

"A boat ride and months of walking and bumming rides, I just found myself pulled here."

"Pulled here, how so?"

"I walked till I felt this pull in my chest, sometime to the point of pain. And so I followed it because when I did it went away."

"Kind of sounds like you were meant to be here" it made since in a way. This place felt like Buffy… and herself.

"How are you not dead?" always that tough questions.

Smiling slightly Tara titling her head forward to hide her face behind her hair, Tara shyly said.

"There was too much going on, you, Willow, and then add in the link between us and the possibility of Willow finding out, well that would have been 'not of the good' as you say" then sighed as Buffy brushed away the curtain and fit it behind her ear.

The connection rang softly, from just Buffy's gentle hand on her face, the bond was growing, but she knew that it was not even close to being done. Opening her eyes, she looked out into the woods then to Buffy.

"I Left that night, I left a note, but I guess you never got it" Buffy nodded.

"After that I went to Main, there I meet up with a coven, I spent a few years there, learning to sharpen my skills. When they had nothing more to teach me I went to and saw the coven in Scotland, Mama said that I had family there, I got to see my grandmother." She smiled at that happy thought.

"I had been staying there, for six years I think" shrugging, give or take she wasn't sure.

"Then one night I had a dream, of me and another on an island, and a small boat with a Greek flag" at this Tara's smile glowed.

"When I saw your face, I knew that I had to find you. So that morning I talked to my family and got on the fasted flight here." Laughing softly Tara went on.

"You are a hard person to find when you don't want to be found, I knew you had a boat, so I drove along the coast."

"How did you know I was here Tara?"

"I felt you, the bond between us may have still been small but I still felt you, so I sold my car in the next city and took a taxi back, two hours later I'm looking at you through the window and thinking, 'My goddess, she is breath taking'."

Buffy said nothing to that, she still thought herself unworthy of any kind of love or affection like that. Tara hit her.

"You are, you stubborn slayer, you more than anyone are worth it and more." The sweet kiss that landed on her forehead made her smile, and then she frowned.

"How…?" then shook her head.

"The bond is getting stronger." At Tara's yes she turned and tucked her head into her shoulder and breathed in her sandalwood scent that was pure Tara.

"What are we going to do now Buffy?"

"You want there to be an '_us_'?"

"Yes _us_, what you think I'm going to let you go, Buffy you're my soul mate, and I love you, I want to stay by your side." Another kiss landed on lips.

The line surged, a sweet kiss turned passionate, passionate turned raw. Tongues battled and hand moved, cloths being pushed aside, burning flesh meeting burning flesh. Throbbing was happing in more than just their bond.

When they reluctantly pulled away for air, their bodies had come together as much as they could without being inside the other.

"Oh god Tara…" gasping for breath she still felt the bond pulsing.

"W-when the time is right B-Buffy, will f-finish the bonding."

"You're stuttering" she had noticed that the once shy blond went without it, but there it was now.

"I'm, j-just a little over whelmed Buffy… I can feel you." Mix together like they belonged, their emotions hummed through them both.

"I feel you to Tara, I feel you to" looking up at the canopy, and at what little light that came through, they had to go.

Gently ungluing themselves, they stood, shared a short but no less loving kiss, and then picked up their picnic.

"We should pack Buffy…"

"Ya, we should… do you think that they will welcome us back?"

"I don't know, but I think Willow will have a hard time of me being back, but they will take you back Buffy, because, well your Buffy" that got a smile.

Taking Tara's hand and gently kissed it, then held to her heart.

"Come on, we have a lot to do."

They both left the park, starting up the little red scooter and handing Tara the only helmet they set off.

(Man, I don't much like how this chapter turned out, but I had slug through, I'll do better next time, I hope, any way please feel free to review. Thanks for reading.)


	9. Chapter 8 Heads or Tales

Chapter 8- Heads or Tales

Disclaimer- I own nothing Buffy

(1100+ hits! I think it's a hit, but I could use more reviews XD!)

(there are some Gaelic words mark with (1, 2)

Recap-

"I don't know, but I think Willow will have a hard time of me being back, but they will take you back Buffy, because, well your Buffy" that got a smile.

Taking Tara's hand and gently kissed it, then held to her heart.

"Come on, we have a lot to do."

They both left the park, starting up the little red scooter and handing Tara the only helmet they set off.

* * *

It took them a little over a month to get everything set up and packed. They had a small problem with the boat. In the end they decided to have everything shipped over and they would transport the boat by land themselves. But before they could do anything else, Buffy had to call them first.

Ten years, ten years of hiding what she was and running away and she knew that there were going to be a lot of hurt feelings and maybe even anger.

She sat staring at the phone like she was waiting for it to jump up and bite her. It was ridicules, she was a slayer, she feared nothing, but picking up that phone scared the bejezzes out of her.

"It's simple, pick up the receiver, hit a few numbers and wait for the other line to pick up, and maybe hyperventilate as I wait."

"If you don't want to do it Buffy, I could" Buffy jumped and spun around.

"But I think they might pull out the books and try to look up ghost callings, because they think I'm dead."

Buffy let out a haggard breath, she knew it had to be her, but she was scared. Tara felt it and silently wrapped her arms around her. The scent of morning filled her nose.

"Is that a new body wash?" Tara pinched her.

"Don't change the subject gra." (1)

Sighing Buffy tuned back to the phone, and reached for it, then stopped.

"You spent way too much it in Scotland" and picked up.

After a small hesitation Buffy input the number and waited. She was right; she was starting to get harder to breath the more it rang, by the fifth ring Buffy all but through it at Tara.

"_**Hello**_?" the voice from the specked asked, they both recognized it, and they both froze, Willow.

"_**Hello, is someone there?**_"

Panicking Tara said.

"Gabh mo leithscaal."(2) And held the phone out to Buffy with her hand over the mouth piece.

"Shit" and the phone passed hands.

Buffy put it to her ear and said, in a shy voice.

"Willow."

The other line was quite, then a clattering sound and shuffling.

"Willow! Willow!"

"BUFFY!" and an ear drum lost to the cause.

"Ya Will, it's me… how are you?"

"How am I? After TEN YEARS of nothing but post cards through your sister, you ask how I am."

"Ya…" her courage was wilting and fast.

"Why now, why call now?"

"Because… Because I…" running low she wasn't able to complete the thought.

Feeling Tara step up behind her, circle her in her arm and pull her close. Their bond flooded her with love.

"I want to come home."

There was a sigh on the other end and some other noise, like a door opening and closing.

"_**Hay Red, you wanted to see me?**_"

Faith, that name brought on a rainbow of emotions that she had yet to deal with.

"_**Yes, but could you wait a moment, I'm almost done here.**_"

That had hurt, she felt the arms around her hug her tighter. She could hear boots being planted on a desk. Buffy smiled, leave it to Faith.

"Buffy, are you still there?" the boots hit the floor, loudly.

"Yes."

"When can we expect you?"

Looking at Tara and only got a shrug she answered.

"Well I have a lot of stuff to move, you knew years of shopping, so maybe later next month."

Looking back at Tara, asking with her eyes and the smile was all that was needed.

"I'm bringing a friend along, is that ok, she lives there already, so really you don't have to set up the guest rooms."

There was a 'hey' from Willow and the speaker changed.

"Hay B, there's no need to do that, we got panty of room."

Faith sounded, gentler, calmer almost, it kind of freaked her out.

"We'll see F, now hand me back to Will."

"_**Thank you**_, Was that the women I heard earlier?"

"That was her."

"Do I know her she…? I don't know, sounded like someone."

"It's really complicated Willow." and she looking to Tara.

Sticking out her hand, Tara took the phone. Taking a deep breath and steeled herself.

"Hello sweetie" an audible thud was heard.

"Hey, whoever you are, you just made Red faint. Hand the phone back to B."

Tara gave it back.

"Fainted, well it is better than screaming I guess. Look Faith, is there a dock."

She knew Faith had to have had a really confused look on her face, because it took her a moment to say anything.

"Whoa, B ya got a boat? Dude you can't even drive a car!"

"I'll have to prove you wrong on that, hey look take care of Willow, she hasn't moved."

"We'll what else was she goin' to do? Her girls back from the dead."

"Ya why don't I give you my cell number and Giles can call me, ok, we need to set up the shipping thing that is if I can come back."

"B I ain't got a problem with that, but I'll tell G-man and I'm sure he'll call you" there was a rustling sound.

"Oh hey look Reds up… I'll see ya round B" and hung up.

When the dial tone blared in her ear Buffy did the same.

"That went better than I thought"

"See sweetie, they're not to mad at you, it's me that they might not let back."

"I know you're the real thing, this link is too real for you to be anything but Tara, so once they see that we'll be ok. Now come on there are still a few things that need to be packed."

* * *

They spent the rest of the day packing the rest of Buffy's stuff; Tara liked to hear the tales of how Buffy got some of her things. There was this old boot that she had bronzed and mounted. The plate said 'the fish'.

"Buffy, what's this once story" holding up the boot. It got gales of laughter from Marc, Buffy pouted.

When Marc could breathe again he started.

"It was Anna's first fishing trip; she was so looking forward to it. Well ant way, we were out there with are fishing poles and nets. We had been sitting awhile and Anna was getting impatient."

"We had sat there for hours! I was board and getting hungry" It was a weak defense.

"When finally Anna gets a bit, now we were drifting close to the shore now. Anna fought with it for a good, what six minutes, before we finally caught it." Marc started to laugh from the memory of it.

"Well as it turns out my first 'fish' was this boot. And Marc, being the nice man that he is, made this for me to remember it by."

With the story finished Buffy stuffed it with news paper and packed it away.

Tara was still giggling at Buffy's attempt to fish, it was easy to see. Buffy on a boat and reeling in a said 'fish' and feeling so proud of herself and about to gloat that she got the first fish, only to have it all crushed when it turned out to be a boot.

She wished she had been there.

"One day, we'll all go fishing, and maybe catch the mate to my boot" it was something to look forward to, when all was said and done.

When the last of the packing was done Marc went to the kitchen, bringing back waters for them. They talked and told a few more tales and funny stories about their lives.

They were getting ready for bed when Buffy's cell rang.

Picking it up like it was a bomb, then hitting the 'send' held it to her ear.

"Giles?"

"Hello Buffy."

(This looks kind of familiar, have I done this before? XD Any way review please and thanks for reading.)

(1) PHRASE: Gra

PRONOUNCED: graw

MEANING: Love

(2) PHRASE: Gabh mo leithscaal

PRONOUNCED: govh muh leh-skayle

MEANING: Excuse me


	10. Chapter 9 Aegean Sunsets, Moonlight song

Chapter 9- Aegean Sunsets, Moonlight songs

Disclaimer- I own nothing Buffy

(Lemon goodness, it's my first time, so, be gentle)

Recap-

They were getting ready for bed when Buffy's cell rang.

Picking it up like it was a bomb, then hitting the 'send' held it to her ear.

"Giles?"

"Hello Buffy."

* * *

A week had gone by, and everything had been sent out and on its way to Scotland. They left the next day. Saying goodbye to Marc was something she was not looking forward to but, Buffy wanted to sail the Aegean one last time before she left.

The sun wasn't even up yet and Buffy was dressed and ready to go. Slinging her bag over her shoulder Buffy took one last look around the room. So many memories of this place, been her shelter for all these years. Tears slide down her face freely, the last few that she would ever shed in this room again.

Sniffing and wiping her face, Buffy turned to the door, stopping when she heard the window birds' songs. Turning back, she found the eggs hatched, five little heads were bobbing up and calling for food. The father was watching as the mom was out. An idea popped into her head.

Leaving and heading to Tara's room she knocked.

"Tara, are you ready?"

"I almost am Buffy, just a second" the sound of fabric was heard, and then the door opened.

Smiling Buffy took Tara's hand and pulled her back to her room. When they got back so was the mama bird, the dad was taking his turn, along with a small flower on her bed.

"Where did that come from?" Walking over and picking it up.

Looking up when she heard wing beats and scratching. The papa was back and in his beak he held a small flower.

"My goddess Buffy" Buffy could second that awe.

Lifting her hand the papa flew over, landed on her finger tips and let go of the flower into her palm. When his task was done he went back to his family.

"Well, it looks like you made some friends Buffy."

There were tears in her eyes again, damn it, she had cried enough already. But those simple gifts, from birds, made her heart swell, one day she would come back.

Digging into her pack Buffy pulled out her journal, opened it to a set of empty pages and pressed the flowers in-between them. To the song birds she said.

"Thank you."

And to Tara she said.

"Let's go, the sun is catching up to us."

* * *

The call from Giles had been an emotional one. She had told him the reason that she had run was because something was different about her. When she told him about the dream of hers, Giles sounded doggy of the subject almost. The only thing he said was 'When you get home Buffy, will talk about it then.'"

It had done nothing to boost her hope that she was not harboring something inside her that could be a danger to her friends and the world.

The tug on her hand brought her back from memory lane. Looking up to see Tara's worried eyes and a hand cupping her cheek.

"Buffy, whatever you are, it will never change who you are, do you got that."

Taking a deep breath of the sea air, letting it out slowly, Buffy pressed the hand on her face closer and gave its palm a kiss.

They let the rocking of the boat take them and they pressed together, they did not hug or moved to lift their other arm. But Buffy had placed her other cheek on Tara's shoulder with her face turned into her neck, other than that, they let the gentle rocking move them, teaching them both a new dance.

The clanking and fluttering of the sails broke the peace and they pulled apart. Looking into each other's eyes, their lips found each other in a soft but passionate kiss. When air was needed they let go, smiled and then went back to tending to the boat.

* * *

"What do you think happened to me?" the question was from nowhere but it had been bugging Buffy for a while now.

Tightening her hold on Buffy as she held her from behind on the island cliffs, they wanted to watch the last Aegean sunset they would see for a long time.

"I don't have much of a guess here but, I think something with the spell that Willow did to bring you back, may have opened a door for a short period of time and something dark slipped in."

Shifting to rest her chin on Buffy's shoulder she continued.

"If that's the case, then the questions is, 'is it evil or good', they wilder had a since of self, it was able to talk and think for its self. And it seems that it knows what has happened to you."

A cool breeze had them cuddle closer into each other. The sun was casting a variedly of colors in the sky and clouds. They sky was different shades of oranges with a few brushes of reds and yellows. The clouds were in hues of blues and purples. The sea its self, the edge closet to the sun was colored like the sky above it, the closer it got to the rocky cliffs the darker green blue it got.

They sat there till there was little life left, and when that was gone they pulled out the flashlights and went back to the little ship.

The moon was full and the sky was empty of clouds now. You could see every star there was to see that night. The light from the moon cast a glow on the water, and seemed to still the water somewhat. It was like sailing in a dream, nothing in sight but every where to go.

Tara looked up when she heard a loud splash. Off the port side not that far off in the distant, a pod of whales danced and sang. Looking to Buffy to tell her, she saw her digging in a box.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for my sea phone."

"What?"

"GOT IT! Just listen please." And she dropped a line off the side of the boat. Turning a few knobs on a box attached to it, and then flipped it on. When the song of the Whales sounded through the speakers loud and clear Tara was in awe. Never in her life had she heard anything so beautiful and natural.

"Ya, I thought the same thing when I first heard them."

"How?"

"The look on your face, it told me everything. This was one of the reasons I wanted to go sailing. About four years ago I was getting back late and I had a really ruff shifting. I had pulled up every drop of strength I had left to keep the boat pointed home."

She took a moment t to listen to the memory of that night.

"I had dozed off a little, so when I heard them I thought it was a dream. Then I hit my toe and I was awake. I stood by the railing the whole time, just listening to the voices of the sea. It was that night I had a strong longing for home, and not for Legrena."

The whale's song hit a high note and Buffy started to cry.

"Oh Buffy, Mo anam cara."(1)

She took Buffy into her arms and held her against her heart.

"I love you and thank you for sharing this with me."

She held her weeping love till the tears stopped. When they had, Buffy looked up to thank her as well for being her to share it with, but was cut off when Tara kissed her.

It was gentle at first, but grew when the passion they had held back ignited. Lips stayed soft but opened to allow the others toughen in to battle. Hands found their way into hair and around waists, lips moved from mouth to neck, teeth scraping skin.

A moan joined the air and a set of hands found their way under a shirt. It had been a long time for both of them, but they could not dismiss the feelings they had.

"Buffy, please" it was too much to go slow any more.

Picking Tara up Buffy carried her below to a small bed that served as a small home away from home.

Putting down her precious cargo, Buffy stopped and looked over her soon to be lover lying out on the bed.

She was so beautiful, her soft round face, so ready to smile, her laughing eyes that held so much, a porcelain neck that just cried out to be kissed. How could such beauty have gone though what she had and still look as innocent as a child?

Brocken from her thoughts by a gentle kiss, she focused back to the matter at hand, making love to this amazing being.

They could still hear the whale's songs from up top.

Getting up and undressing, Buffy then reached for Tara shoes and socks. Kissing each foot before coming up to pull out her shirt end, she kissed the strip of flesh that appeared and then kissed the new skin that was uncovered as she lifted the shirt off and on to the floor.

They didn't need words this time; everything was said in every action that was made. From the butterfly kisses to cheeks when moving to nibble on an ear, to looks of love every time their eyes meet. All they needed was each other.

When the last pieces of clothing hit the floor, both were breathing heard and dripping and pulsing with need. Eyes meeting and smiles and kisses given, Buffy lowered her head down and took an aching nipple in her mouth; the moan that followed spared her on.

Bringing her hand up to softly play with the mate to the one she held captive in her teeth. When she thought it had all it could take she switched, her teeth found the a diamond peck and gently nibbled and bit it as her hand started to softly play with the overly sensitive nipple that she had just left. Tara's hands griped tighter into her hair and arched her back trying to get more.

Fitting a lean leg between god like legs and against Tara's center, caused a ground swell of intoxicating scents to rise up and invade her senses.

Peaches, is smelled like peaches, she growled, and felt the bond jerk wildly and grow stronger. Buffy also felt the wilder, shifting and moving beneath her skin. But she was too far gone to care and left the gifts she had been loving to slide down to see if the Tara tasted as good as she smelled.

"Buffy, stop teasing, please" her voice was strained but still commanding.

"Just one taste, you smell so good."

Reaching her goal Buffy kept her promise. Using a wide toughen she gave Tara a long and slow ice cream lick from bottom to top, giving a final flick to her clit to end it, earning a hip jerk for her efforts.

Buffy climbed back up to Tara's face and laughed lightly in a fit of sudden playfulness at the look of need on Tara's face.

Bad move on Buffy's part, because Tara let out a growl of her own and flipped them over and reached down, parted lips and pressed them together in the most intimate way.

This time the sound from Buffy were moans and cries of pleasure as Tara started to move in slow but deep thrusts. Each one felt like it was reaching into her soul and setting off electrical charges. Each charge stronger and more madding thin the last. The sound of panting and the sticky wet sound of their lovemaking were heard but, if one truly listened they could hear the faint song of the whales in the background.

"Oh gods, Tara please harder, faster!"

The plea was heard and Tara speed up, thrust harder, but also leaned over to wrap her arms around Buffy and try and hold her as close as she could, so when the world shattered around them they still had each other at the end of it.

It was too much For Buffy, a power built in her; she didn't know what but if felt like the wilder taking over. Invading every part of her, but the soft bite to her neck was the breaking point.

The wilder came forth and turned them over letting out a yowl when she started to thrust even harder into her mate.

With the sudden move Tara cried out and looked up when she heard the yowl and let out gasp. Buffy had shifted slightly her eyes had turned to the wilders melted gold cat eyes. When she had first seen them they had nearly hypnotized her they were so beautiful.

The bond they shared raged in and between them now. There was no holding back any more, with the end so close, to hold back now would be pointless, so they both let go.

Their orgasms ripped through them, thrashing them together in that timeless act of life. But with it the power in Buffy snapped and rushed out of her in pulsing waves... and into Tara.

But she was so caught up in the pleasure of it all that she didn't even realize that she had sunk her fangs into Tara's shoulder, let alone notice that there was more to her orgasm then it seemed.

The tempest died down and Buffy collapsed on Tara.

Tara was slowly regaining from her ride. But she felt it, the bond of her true soul mate now complete in her heart. They were one now and it thrilled her to no end. The bliss was exquisite, even as tired as she was the silly smile on her lips shined. Only to grow brighter when she heard a soft voice in the dark of the cabin say 'I love you mate'.

Who would have thought, that when she had fallen for Willow it would lead her to meet some of the world bravest and kindest people. She had thought that Willow was her soul mate, but looking back now, every time she felt the soul bond, Buffy had been there with them. Laughing lightly at how fate dealt their lives, she pulled Buffy closer and hissed when her shoulder pulled, the wilder had marked her.

Buffy sat up from her place in her arms, smiled at her with a look of pure love and lowered to kiss her. In the troughs of afterglow they heard the last notes of the Whales song before they were too far to hear any more.

With a grunt of displeasure Buffy got up and went top side to put away the equipment.

Tara laid there for a moment, recalling only moments ago her first reaction to the song. She had thought it to be the most beautiful sound she had ever heard, but she was wrong, the most sound to her now was Buffy saying I love you after making love to her.

With her task complete and with much complaining Buffy headed back bellow to find Tara asleep. Buffy melted, she would never get use to the effected Tara's beauty had on her and she hoped she never would.

Climbing into bed with her mate Buffy pulled the covers over them both and curled around her love. For a brief second she panicked when she heard purring, but found it to be heard.

Closing her eyes she took stock of herself. Something had changed again. She felt the soul bond, but that was normal, digging deeper she froze. The wilder, it… it was no longer a separate part of her any more.

Taking a deep breath and sighing softly, at least now she knew she could control it. But it puzzled her, for ten years she was trying to learn to control the wilder with not even a sliver of success, but after nearly a month and a half with Tara and one night of mind blowing sex, she and the wilder were now joined as one.

Why?

* * *

Outside the morning was lighting the sky and the main land in sight. And at the top of the main sail singing their song to welcome the day were two tri colored song birds.

(Well what do you think? Please review if you have any comments or tips to help me out for next time I would like to hear them.)

PHRASE: Mo anam cara

PRONOUNCED:muh ann-imm karrah

MEANING: My soulmate


	11. Chapter 10 Thing that were

Chapter 10- Things that were

Disclaimer- I own nothing Buffy

(To answer the question of what language Tara is speaking – its Gaelic--I want to say sorry for the wait, big writers block wall.)

Recap-

Taking a deep breath and sighing softly, at least now she knew she could control it. But it puzzled her, for ten years she was trying to learn to control the wilder with not even a sliver of success, but after nearly a month and a half with Tara and one night of mind blowing sex, she and the wilder were now joined as one.

Why?

Outside the morning was lighting the sky and the main land in sight. And at the top of the main sail singing their song to welcome the day were two tri colored song birds.

* * *

They had just found there cabin when the whistle sounded. With a jolt the train started moving, plumes of steam drifted through the station, it felt like a dream. Buffy watched as the small Greek town faded into the distance. With a small pull in her heart and a jerk as the train picked up speed, she was off to try and start over with her life.

They had called Giles to confirm that he wanted to meet them on the main land before they traveled to Scotland. They both knew that he wanted to see if it was the real Tara, and they were ok with that. They hadn't told him much about Buffy, really all they said was she was different.

The world passed by outside the window, so fast it was almost too blurred to see it. It reminded her of her life, from the day she came back to now. She had been living but she never felt alive, the closest she had come was when she found herself in Legrena.

"What are you looking at?" surprised she turned and found soft blue/green eyes looking into hers.

With a sigh she crawled over to Tara and laid down with her feet close to the winder so she could still see out it.

"The past" Tara got it.

Leaning down and kissed Buffy's head Tara said.

"Did it look as you wanted it?"

Buffy only nodded.

With the every now and then rocking and the soft continued churning of the lead wheels, that and the smell of Tara as she used her legs as a pillow put her to sleep.

_

* * *

_

The moon was full and clouds wisped across its face. The night sang with crickets and a soft chanting, but it was shattered by a roar. Shifting to the desperate sound, the sight was horrifying.

_The five shamans stood around a large flat bolder with long lost runs painted in what looked like blood. On its surface lay a young girl with skin nearly as white as the moons glow. Her hair was so pale blonde it to was so nearly as white as the moon. There were cuts and burns littering her body shaping what looked like more runs, but there was a run on her chest that was bigger than the others. _

_This one she could read and it scared her so. The roar sounded again, louder than the last, making her look to its source. There locked in cage of thick wood and magic was a demon. _

_It stood on two bowed legs, broad cheated but like the girl on the table it was female. From its cat like head to its tail she was covered in dark shaggy fur. Standing in its cramped cage it looked like it stood 6ft in height. _

"_The stars are almost in alignment prepare the beast" Water spook up._

"_Soon we will have the power to control the monsters in the dark!" that was Fire._

"_Stop fooling around and chain the beast down" said Earth in a vexed tone._

_Demon cloak walked up to the cage and stared the beast in the eyes. When the night was over they would have a shoulder of their own to send out and kill what they wanted. Raising his hand and hitting the wilder out with a magic pulse, it hit the ground._

_Watching from the edge of the field and not being able to do anything as they dragged the wilder out and strapped in down next to the girl. They also burned and cut runs into the creature skin and on her chest they carved the rune._

"_Slayer"_

_Wind cloak started chanting, mist started to rise from the runs painted on the rock face and snack there way over the two bodies that lay on it._

_The chanting picked up and the mist forced its way into the cuts, burns and every other opening it could find. The bodies began to writhe and scream like their very souls were being ripped from them from the inside._

_When all the mist was inside them both they both their screaming and roaring split the air and then fell silent. The chanting still continued, calling back the mist from the now dead bodies._

_The mist was now a blood red, but it was breathing, pulsing with life. They had pulled the every life out of both beings. _

_The chanting increased and the mist throbbed. Wind cloak raised his voice._

"_Now is the time, the stars are in position we can now fuse this perfect force and create are worrier!"_

_Looking up into the sky when a bright light flashed as the last stare drifted into place. _

_Demon cloak screamed the last of the spell and a beam of light shot from the heavens through the mist and shoved the mass into the still form of the human woman._

_The light faded and all was quiet, the form of the wilder lay still and the woman had shifted but it was only because of the force of the spell._

_But then the wilder corpse collapsed into dust and blow away in the heavy wind that had picked up. The shaman turned to the woman on the table._

_Her all her wounds had healed all but the run for 'slayer'._

_The woman had not moved and they thought themselves failures. But then they heard an unearthly growl from the girl._

"_We did it!" said Fire._

_The girl stood slowly and looked around her. Then she turned to the cloaked men. _

"_Do you know how we are?" _

_The girl's eyes now glowed with a feral gold and let out a yowling cry and jumped at the men._

* * *

"Buffy wake up" Tara was scared. Something was wrong with Buffy, she could feel it.

She had watched her lover as she slept and saw the small smile on her face. She was happy as well; she had found her true soul mate and was on her way to see her family again. But when she heard a grown from Buffy and felt a sharp feeling of helplessness in her heart.

Buffy's eyes opened and Tara gasped, Buffy was shifting. Tara jumped up and started to magically seal the cabin so that no one could get in or more importantly so Buffy couldn't get out.

When that was done Tara tuned back to Buffy and gasped again. Buffy had shifted far beyond any other before. Looking at her now was slightly breath taking; her legs had bowed causing her jeans to rip to accommodate the now shaggy cat pawed legs. Her chest had expanded and had also ripped to fix its new larger wearer. Her face now looked cat like and she could just see the tail that twitched behind her.

"Oh Buffy what's happening to you?"

The wilder growled and jumped at Tara.

(I just want to say sorry to taking so long on my update of this chapter. I had writers block. So any feedback is welcomed. Please review)


	12. Chapter 11 Meeting in the Dark

Chapter 11- Meeting in the Dark

Disclaimer- I own nothing

Recap-

"Oh Buffy what's happening to you?"

The wilder growled and jumped at Tara.

_

* * *

_

They were the once, they did this to them. Forced this on them, they had to die.

"_NO! It's not possible, we did everything right, the slayer should be under our control!" _

_Earth cloak was ripped apart under the power of the slayer. _

"_**W…we are… not yours**__" was growled out between two voices._

_Then the girl shifted, taking on more of the look of the wilder. Her legs bowed and chest expanded and she grew fur and a tail and her face thinned and became a cat like face with fangs that now ripped out the throat of Fire. _

_**Anger, so much anger so much pain, so much that their thoughts were clouded with it. They wanted revenge, wanted to get rid of it. **_

_The field was covered in rags and blood and the only one left standing was Demon. He stood off on the side just watching and waiting. As the last one fell and the slayer came after him he held up his hand and commanded her to stop._

"_Hold Slayer, I am not your target" and the slayer froze in her rush. Demon cloak smiled, he now had his very own home made fighter that would follow his command. _

"_Sit" and the slayer sat._

_Demon started laughing. He would rule this pathetic world._

* * *

"BUFFY!" but it was no use.

Buffy had landed on her but had not hurt her. She was frozen, her eyes wide and oddly innocent warm golden eyes. Tara saw something flash in those eyes and then she saw recognition.

"Tara?"

"Buffy, Honey, are you ok?"

"What happened?"

"You feel asleep and you were having a bad dream, I tried to wake you but when you opened your eyes, well you shifted."

Jumping up Buffy ran to the window and saw her reflection.

"How…? How did this happen and why am I not changing back?"

Tara walked slowly up behind Buffy talking as she reached out and put her arms around her.

"I don't know, but we'll figure it out" and hugged her close.

Tara nearly let go when she heard what sounded like a growl but was really a low rumbling purr.

Realizing that Tara pulled Buffy as close as she could possibly could.

Buffy's wilder form started to melt away and return to her original form. When that was done Buffy slumped into a seat still in Tara's arms.

"I've got you gra (1), I got you" and she gentle soothed Buffy's hair.

The rocking and sounds of the train were the only things that disturbed their peace.

They had to find out what was going on with Buffy and fast. Buffy had been living with this for ten years now and it was only getting worse.

They rode the rest of the way cuddling and trying to reassure them self's that they were going to be ok.

* * *

The hiss of the engine woke them as the train pulled in to their stop. Tara looked down and saw Buffy looking up at her with hazel eyes this time.

"Hey, how you are doing sweetie?"

Groaning and rolling to burrow her head into Tara's lap and hope to hide away from the world. But she knew that it was time to finally face the things she left behind when she ran away. Inhaling deeply before getting up the smell of warm honey buoyed her sprits. After a long moment she stood up and started to and gathered up their luggage. Turning to Tara she asked.

"Are we ready to go?"

Tara looked around the cabin and nodded.

"I think we got everything, come on lets go."

Buffy walked to the door and at least tried to open the door. Giving a tug the door still didn't move.

"Hey, Tara, what's up with this?"

"Oops! Sorry, well I wasn't sure that it was safe earlier so, well this" and she whispered the reversal spell.

Buffy gave an experimental pull and the door moved. Smiling Buffy picked up everything and headed out.

They had stopped in Sangatte France; they were going to ride the train across to England, but they had to meet Giles first. They were meeting at a small café not far from the station and from there to his hotel room.

Tara sat quietly sipping her tea listening to Buffy shift and jitter with nerves. She could understand, she felt the same way, she just hide it better at the moment.

Buffy glanced at her watch again for the tenth time, and then went back to twitching. Tara had just had to smile; it was kind of cute that after everything Buffy had been trough, all the demons, and the apocalypses she hadn't even batted an eye at but here she was after a long separation she was jumping around like Willow when she had to many mochas.

Reaching over and laying a hand on the bouncing knee Tara said.

"Relax sweetie, everything is going to be fine you'll see."

"I know Tara it's just that, he's the father I wish I had in the first place and I just up and leave him and the others because I was scared" feeling overwhelmed Buffy sighed and put her head in her hands.

Tara was going to rest her hand on her lovers head but pulled back when she saw the person walking up behind Buffy.

"Hello Giles."

Buffy shot up and turned to were Tara was looking.

And there, a few years older but still the man that she thought of as a father. He was smiling and walking with a cane but he was Giles and he was there.

The memories of his flooded her thoughts and tears glittered in her eyes.

"Giles" when he opened his arms she ran to him.

The moment his arms wrapped around her, every regret and fear she had been holding in sense she left melted from her in the tears that ran down her face.

"It's very good to see you my dear"

"Oh Giles I'm so sorry"

"It's in the past Buffy, you needed to get away, I get that but please let's take this some were we won't be over heard."

He let go of Buffy, smiled and wiped away the traces of her tears. Then he turned to Tara, for a quick moment a flash of unease flashed across his face.

"Tara, nice to see you to." The note of strain in his voice was noticeable.

"Mr. Giles it is wonderful to see you again."

"How have you both been? It has been a long time since we last saw each other. "

"Complicated I guess, it's been a rough ten years." Buffy let go and they started walking to Giles's hotel.

"Complicated? How is that so? From your post cards you were doing ok?"

* * *

They traveled down a small side street the pass a park before they got to the hotel. They pass the bell hop and the front deck to the elevator.

"So please tell me, what is complicated?" they got of the elevator on the second floor to room B 22.

"Well it started when I came back from heaven…" Giles unlocked the door "and well something in me had changed, and late…" they walked through the door and Buffy started convulsing.

"Buffy!" Tara ran to her lover shocked that this was even happening.

"How… What?" Giles couldn't fathom why the wards worked on Buffy and not Tara.

"Giles what did you do? And don't you dare say you didn't, I felt those wards as I walked through, now what are they?!"

Buffy thrashed violently then started shifting randomly. It hurt so much, it felt like something was splitting her apart but there was nothing there to split just a huge pressure that harshly compact her will.

Voices blurred and echoed as everything whirled around her.

"GILES DROP THE WARDS! THERE KILLING HER!"

(I think that makes a good cliffy for you all. Do NOT worry I have the next part ready so stay tuned)

(1)PHRASE: Gra

PRONOUNCED:graw

MEANING:Love


	13. Chapter 12 Goddess

Chapter 12

Disclaimer- I own nothing Buffy

(to answer a question- Tara is speaking a form of Irish Gealic)

Recap-

Voices blurred and echoed as everything whirled around her.

"GILES DROP THE WARDS! THERE KILLING HER!"

* * *

What was happening? That thought just kept spinning in his head.

Tara was the demon… Buffy the savior, this wasn't how this worked. But seeing his beloved charge screaming and bleeding on the ground scared him like no other time before.

But then the panic cleared and Giles rushed to dispel the wards.

But he wasn't able to remember the right words, thinking that that they wouldn't be necessary because he believed Tara to be a demon. He was shocked when she walked through the door and nothing happened but he was blown away when Buffy walked through and collapsed.

He jumped to the phone to call Willow; he hit the wrong numbers a few times because he was shacking so badly.

"Damn it, this wasn't supposes to happen, you were supposes to be the demon, damn it!" he hung up to try again.

* * *

Tara was freaking, her lover was jerking and screaming on the floor. She had never seen Buffy shift but she knew it was nothing like this.

Buffy's body was randomly changing. Her spin had lengthened at one point and nearly snapped when it had grown too long. There was now a trail of blood leaking from Buffy's mouth and Giles still wasn't doing anything.

Maybe it was fear or maybe it was Buffy screaming or maybe it was the constant change and pulsing of the bound between them that snapped something inside her, but whatever it was, the power that crashed through her was old.

There were flashes of memories and images blinked and whorled in her mind. But one stuck out the most.

A girl lying beat up and bloodied on a large stone table, covered in symbols cut into her skin. The image fueled her rage and power coursing in her veins.

The world slowed and the way she saw the world changed. She could see the flow of life in everything around her, could see the lines of magic lacing the room and shrouding Buffy.

Shear instinct moved her hand banishing and purifying the magic and sending it back to the earth.

* * *

From the outside looking at Tara, the room had suddenly filled with blinding white light. Giles was once again shocked. The power that it would take to do what was being done before his very eyes was not even heard of.

Still gasping in shock he then felt a sense of lightness wash over him. A peace that had been lost to him long ago and it sadden him when that feeling went away.

When the light faded and the last lingering finger of warmth left him Giles looked to the girls only to see a huge gold fur cat being curled up with it head on a long whit haired woman lap. The woman was gently singing in a language that he didn't understand and the cat beast was purring.

He had dropped the phone during flash of magic; Willow screaming on the other line dragged him out of his thought and scramble to pick it up.

"**Giles are you there!" **she sounded scared.

"Yes Willow I'm here and I'm alright, it's just that something happened that I wasn't expecting but it's passed. I will call you back with more news as I get it" and her hung up.

The soft click of the reserve caused the beast to flick an ear his way and fortunately for him the cat was all too happy to ignore him and stay where it was.

He knew magic and how it worked and flowed, he could feel a slight hum in the air that had nothing to do with the singing that the woman was doing.

Snapping to attention when he relived that Buffy and Tara were gone, he stepped forward to ask.

"Who are you?"

The white hair lady turned to him, he sputtered when he saw that is was Tara.

"It is all right, these two will bring the end of a long fought battle that will bring the great balance back."

Giles sighed and took off his glasses and cleaned them with a cloth from his pocket, it was always something.

"When, may I ask?"

The Tara shook her head then looked down at the true wilder, smiling.

"Take care of her; she had been through so much already."

"You still have not told me who you are."

The lady turned to him again and said.

"I am the beginning and the end, the keeper of life, but I am only a fraction of the true."

And with that the image faded and it its place lay Tara with Buffy's head in her lap.

Giles put his glasses back on and picked up the phone again, it was like this that he wished he had a glass of scotch with him.

The phone rang then it was picked up.

"**Hello?"**

"Ah yes, Willow would you be so kind as to pull out a few books for me."

There was an expatiated sigh from the other end.

"**What is it this time?"** She sounded happy, like she knew that the big get together was coming.

"It appears we have another apocalypse on the way."

"**Great just great and which once this time?"**

"Pull the once about the Goddess and the anything we have and whatever we can find on the slayer, something's not right with Buffy."

A shuffling sound grabbed his attention and he looked to the two on the floor, Tara was getting up.

"There is nothing wrong with Buffy Giles, and if you ever do something like that again I will, I promise you this, make it so you never stop scratching your privets again no matter what you try to do about it."

A soft laugh was heard from the last member of the group. Buffy was awake.

"That would be something to see, ever proper Giles scratching in public." Buffy sat up with a grown.

"But I will back her up if you ever do that again, and this has done nothing to gain my trust and faith in you back." She stood up and helped Tara to her feet.

"Now if we are done here will see you later, we have a train to catch."

So with soft goodbyes and snipping words Tara and Buffy left.

"Giles ungracefully sat down on the bed. That had not gone has he had thought it would, he was happy that Tara was the real thing but sad that Buffy was some sort of demon. He cried, knowing that in the end Buffy was going to die again.

(It's short I know. I am sorry for not update. I have had some problems on my end that kept me away, but it is here now and I will try to update sooner. It helps if I had some feedback, I just would appreciate them. Thanks for reading)


	14. Chapter 13 The Other Side

Chapter 13- The Other Side

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Recap:

Giles ungracefully sat down on the bed. That had not gone has he had thought it would, he was happy that Tara was the real thing but sad that Buffy was some sort of demon. He cried, knowing that in the end Buffy was going to die again.

* * *

(Scotland)

Willow's POV-

It has been an eventful last few months. Buffy had finally contacted them and it appeared that Tara was alive. That had really thrown her for a loop so much so that she had fainted. That had Faith laughing at her for the rest of the day.

After that she contacted Giles and had him meet up with them in France and have him try and that confirmed that Tara wasn't a demon and find out how Buffy was doing. It was going to be weird when they came back.

There was a knock at the door, Willow called out for them to come in. the door opened and in walked Dawn.

Dawn had been the most effected when Buffy had upped and disappeared without a word as to why. She had locked herself in her room and had only opened up to allow Willow to hand off plates of food. They had finally pulled her out when Buffy's first post card had come.

Dawn had shot out her door to grab the small rectangular paper from Xander and was overjoyed and sad, happy that Buffy had sent _**her**_a post card but sad that there wasn't a return address so they could find her. The only clue as to where she was was the images on the front of the card and even then that wasn't much.

"Hay Will, what's the news on the latest happenings?" Dawn knew that Buffy and Tara were on their way here and she had nearly made those in the area around her deft with her cry of joy.

"They are on the train over the English Chanel as we speak so they should be here by tonight at the latest."

Dawn smiled and sat down in a chair across from Willow.

"What are you reading?"

Willow closed the large volume with a dull thud and sat back in her chair with a sigh.

"Giles asked me to pull out some books, and all he gave me to work for on what books to find were 'pull out any books we have on the Goddess and every scrap of information on the slayer', like that's a lot of help. I mean why he would want me to find books and info on the goddess and slayer. He called me twice; the first time he said nothing all I heard was a scream and lots of background noise. I thought that he was in trouble but I would know if he was because I did a spell that would allow me to know when someone I care about was in real danger and…"

Willow blushed.

"I'm babbling again, I'm sorry Dawn, I'm just nerves that I'm going to see both Buffy and Tara after so many years and we didn't part in the best of ways."

Dawn nodded and got up and hugged Willow.

"I get it, I'm a little scared myself, I love them both so much, we all thought Tara was dead and Buffy had all but cut us out of her life and now they're back and it's been so long that we are afraid that we have changed so much that we wouldn't have anything in common anymore."

"That is what I'm scared of too and there is the added thought that Tara is a demon that dose Goddess knows what."

"Tara can't be a demon she's just too good hearted to be anything bad."

Xander's POV-

What was he going to do? After nearly twelve years, some of their lost were coming home again.

When Tara had died Willow had lost it and by some divine grace he had saved the world and her. Tara's supposed death had hurt them all but they had come back from it, but when Buffy had vanished, a small part of the group had gone with her.

He hated to see every one so down and it sucked that he could do nothing about it. The only thing that kept him from worrying so much was his work with the slayers and his carpentry.

Every slayer that graduated out into the field he made them their own personal stake like Buffy's Mr. Pointy. Other than that he's in charge of missions and the occasional party when everyone needs to let off a little steam.

When Buffy's post cards started up life got a little better for them and for awhile there it looked like they would be ok. And then she finally called and said she wanted to come home. At first he was mad at her, but what right did she have to come back? after all this time and think she was going to be welcomed back with open arms. When Willow called him into her office he knew it was for only one thing, Buffy.

He opened the door and smiled when he saw Dawn sitting in a chair.

"Hey, you called?"

"Hi Xander, if you would sit will get started on what we are going to do about Buffy and Tara."

Dawn was all smiles and Willow looked a little scared but was doing well at hiding it but he knew her to well.

"So what are we going to do?"

"Well they are going to need a place to stay and then we need to organize a welcome home party for them" Willow was in plan mood, something that she had picked up after Buffy had left.

"We could clean up the spare room in the west wing, its only being used as storage and it should be big enough for them both."

"But doesn't that room sit over the gym and other training areas? I mean it's one of the loudest places to sleep and that's why no one wanted it."

"Yes and in a small way this is our way of getting back at Buffy for leaving like she did and it really is the only room that big enough for them and Tara could just put up a silent spell to cut out the sounds any way."

Xander sighed and leaned forward.

"So that leaves me and a few volunteers to help clean and fix it up for them before they get here right?"

Willow smiled and got up to hug him.

"Only if that's what you want, no one is going to make you, but you are the best handy man in the house and that room really needs work."

He laughed and let go and started to walk out the door before he was tackled from behind by Dawn.

"Thank you Xander, you're really a good man."

"Thanks Dawnie, I'll do my best."

He walked out and went out to work up a roster for sign up's for volunteers to help with the room.

Dawn's POV-

Buffy was coming home! For ten years Dawn had thought that she wasn't coming back this time, but some were in her heart Dawn had hope that she would come back. But this would be the third time that she had left and the third time she's come back.

Happy was an understatement, she was overjoyed; now that she was coming back Dawn didn't have to cling to little pieces of paper every month.

But it was hard in the beginning, she had spent weeks feeling sad and crying in her room trying to come to terms with her feelings, in that time she grow up because she was nearly thirty years old and it was kind of childish if she started crying every time her sister left.

A good thing that happened was that she had time to herself to think about her life. After she left her room she started to find her place in the school and was training to be a watcher of her own group of slayers. She had also found love, a nice young man that was also studding to be a watcher along with her.

His name was Brian O'Hair and he was a local that a scout party had saved one night from a band of vamps and he was willing to help out in thanks. He was sweet and charming as well as clever and smart. He treated her with respect and got along with everyone, he might even get along with Buffy.

Faith's POV-

This was going to be a wild ride. B and Blondie were coming back and for who knows how long people are going to be walking on eggshells.

Red had fainted when she got the news and she had her fun. It was kinda nice to catch her before she hit the ground and for a few brief seconds she held her in her arms.

Ya, that's right Faith the dark slayer, the badass had feelings for Red. Laugh and I'll knock your teeth in. it's been that way for awhile now. Since she had first laid eyes on her. Bet ya thought I had a thing For B right? Well I did sort of but then I saw Red and I fell hard. I heard some were that if the friend like's ya, then ya have an in with your crush.

It was confusing kinda, I thought that it was a good idea, but I guess I fucked up somewhere, 'cuse things went downhill fast.

But that's all in the past and now she's tryin' to turn over a new leaf. Tryin on the light and seeing if that gets her anywhere. So far it got her talking to her in a somewhat friendly/work way.

Well as for the return of golden pair, she was just going to wing it. If they turned out bad then she would do what she did best but it would be hard, if they were good then all else was good, 'cuse god know how many times I ran and been let back in.

Things around here have been a blast. Xander gettin' fancy with the woodwork and Dusk learnin' to be a watcher and makein' eyes at some sweet meat man. He's a runt and there's something I don't like about him, but I trying to be the nice guy here so I live with it.

The baby slayers are just to fun, there was this one time a girl was gettin' her panties in a twist about my training style, so I knock her on her ass and say

'If you can learn to block that with another way, then I'll do somethin' different, till then, shut up'

It's safe to say that she was more a model student after that. Other than that, it's been one world endin' gig after another, it really is kinda funny but they don't get as freaked out about them as they use to. It's like it became the yearly visit to that family member you really don't like but you go anyway because if you don't they might cut you out of the will or somethin'.

Lily's POV-

It was about ten years ago that something really horrifying and magnificent happened to me and a whole lot of other girls.

One day I was walking home from the beach after a long day in the sun and surfing. I had my board in hand and my bag slung over my shoulder and I mean I was just minding my own, when out of no were this asshole of a drunk tries to steal my stuff. When he reached out, I acted without thought. I moved so fast that some say they didn't even see me move and I broke his hand and wrist. Then this warm flushed feeling filed me and I was tingly all over.

When it passed I was kneeling on the ground with a medic at my side asking if I am ok. I said I was fine and stood up. A cop stepped up next and asked me what had happened I told him that that ass was after my things and when I didn't he tried to take it by force and I stopped him.

He nodded and said that the witnesses had said the same thing. When that was all over and the spectators had cleared I picked up my board and found it lighter. I was a old school kind of girl and I surf with a long board that I had made myself when I was in Hawaii, so it's kind of on the heavy side.

I had thought it was the adrenaline still in my system but after nearly a month of breaking thing left and right this beautiful long haired brunet girl shows up at my house in Australia and tells me that I am a slayer. I had thought it a joke and had laughed at her but when she doesn't laugh I stop and hear her out.

Well I'm here so I believed her and I had trained to be a part of this huge army of fighters that don't ever get paid and they still go out and save the world.

I found out her name is Dawn Summers and the sister to the slayer that started this army. I was told that she had run away after things had calmed down from the first. Every slayer in the academy looks up to as a legend and whisper in the hall gossip as to why she would run away.

Some say that she was pregnant, others thought that she had run away with her secret lover, there were so many crazy stories flying around that even if the real reason was in there some were, on one would know it from the others.

But that's gossip anyway and I have graduated and was now running my own team.

Did you know that nine years is a long time to still be in love with someone? But Dawn is a hard girl to stop loving. I love her from afar thou because she's has a boyfriend and is straight as the sunlight that is her name. But that's life and it goes on and I have to make the best of it.

He's an asshole, whenever Dawn is in the room he's acts like the perfect gentleman but if she's not he's a rude son of a bitch to any one that get's in his way and the only reason that no one had told Dawn was because he makes her happy.

And speaking of happy there is a new rumor going around that the legend slayer is retuning and all the junior slayers are ecstatic. The mill says that she's going to be back at around the end of the day and there is a signup sheet for anyone who wants to help fix up a room for her.

I bet that list is going to be long and Xander is going to have many helpers.

(I am so sorry this took so long, but I was in the hospital and I have school and so many other things that got in the way. Please read and review, that's all I ask)


	15. Chapter 14 Welcome home

Chapter 14- Welcome Home

Disclaimer- I own nothing Buffy

Recap:

And speaking of happy there is a new rumor going around that the legend slayer is retuning and all the junior slayers are ecstatic. The mill says that she's going to be back at around the end of the day and there is a signup sheet for anyone who wants to help fix up a room for her.

I bet that list is going to be long and Xanders is going to have many helpers.

* * *

They were in England now and had been there for two hours and forty-five min. The rest of the train ride over was strangely calm. Even thou both of them wanted to turn around and go back to Greece they also knew that it was time to stop running.

As the trees that lined the road zipped past Buffy was growing more and more antsy and twitchy. Tara appeared unaffected by the ever shrinking distance between them and the school. Buffy knew better, the link between them was now strong enough to allow them to feel the others feelings. Deep inside Tara was scared out of her mind.

Buffy reached over and smoothed away the stray hair from Tara face.

"It's going to be ok Tara" he voice shaking.

"I hope so honey, I really do hope so."

The car slowed as it approached the gates. The girls sucked in a breath at the sight of the huge filed that surrounded the castle. It was nothing new to see when you live in Scotland and saw a castle at every tune but Buffy and Tara had caught their breath in more than awe.

The last time Buffy had seen the school was when the gang had just bought it and it was a big fixer upper. But ten years is a long time to have to fix it up with the money they had from the fallen counsel. It was a sight to see for them both.

"Are you about ready to jump out of here and head back and Greece?"

Tara smiled, Buffy was now visible shacking and nearly hyperventilating. It was kind of endearing to see the almighty Buffy so vulnerable.

Tara opened her mouth to say that it was too late for that, the gate opened and the car started moving again.

The castle grew larger and their nerves cracked that much more.

"Open the door and I'll run for it" the car had stopped and Tara's side was farther away from the front door.

Tara and the Driver groaned, and got out of the car, the driver opened the trunk and started to upload their bags.

Tara came around to Buffy's door and waited. With a sigh Buffy pulled the handle, hesitated, then got out.

"Just remember to breath, no matter what happens, just breath"

"I know Tara" and she did.

The walk to the door felt like forever and Buffy's feet felt like led. But when they did reach the door it was thrown open and a flash of dark brown streaked out and latched on to Buffy. A sound of pure glee split the air and blow out Buffy's ear.

It took her all of two seconds to figure out who it was and hug the form cemented to her back.

They stood there for how know how long both now crying and shacking. It was Tara that brought them out of it.

"Why don't we take this inside" and picked up her bag and walked through the now wide open door.

Buffy pulled back and whipped her face and smiled.

"Hi Dawn, I'm' home"

Dawn smiled back.

"Welcome home."

Buffy fidgeted.

"How is everyone else?"

"It's a mixed crowed. Some are curious, other in awe and the rest are pissed."

Buffy flinched and then sighed.

"Would you hate me if we just stayed out here for a bit?"

"Tara's already in there and Willow is to so I think you might want to go recues her" She had a point.

* * *

Once inside Buffy could hear screaming and over all panic and fearing the worst Buffy shot off to find the source. When she found it, Dawns words turned living appeared before her eyes.

Willow was freaking out, throwing spell after spell at Tara's shielded form. Something snapped and or the second time in two days the wilder showed its self in all its feline glory. Giving a snarl and jumping across the huge distance across the room and landing on top of Willow ready to rip her apart but froze when she heard Tara's voice.

"NO! STOP! I'm fine, sweetie look at me."

The wilder tuned and focused on her mate, still ready to strike if needed.

"I'm ok baby; let her go before you do something that you will regret for the rest of your life."

That seemed to cut through, because the clawed hand lowered and relaxed.

"Good girl, now please come here, let her go and come to me baby please" each plea softer then the last.

The wilder huffed and looked back at Willow, looking into now scared eyes and huffed again and turned to Tara and knocked her to the ground and curled as much of her massive self into Tara lap.

The room was silent except for a low rumble purr. But some one squeaked, Xander, and the questions started.

* * *

Wilders POV-

My mate was under attack, in a place where she said it would be safe. Mate said she would be safe and she is being attacked. The witch will die for this.

My host freezes and I take control and jump at the witch. I hear screams and yelling as I fly throw the air but I don't care the witch was attacking my mate.

When I have her pinned and I'm ready to kill her but my mates voice stops me. She tells me she's fine and to look at her and that if I kill her I will regret it. I know that that is true for my host but I will kill anything that tries to hurt my mate. But my host will grieve the loss so I relax my claw but I don't let her up, I will not be so forgiving if the witch tries again.

Mate tells me to go to her I huff my displeasure and I turn to look at the witch, I see fear in her eyes and huff again. Only moments ago her eyes held hate and power. How pathetic.

I go to my mate and get as close to her so I can her heart. When I can hear it I fall asleep.

* * *

Lily's POV-

THAT'S BUFFY SUMMER'S!

(Does it seem like I'm jumping writing styles? Even so as long as I can get the point and picture across then I guess that's ok. I am so sorry that it took me so long to get this chapter up but I was really busy. Please review.)


	16. Chapter 15 Badness all around

Chapter 15- Badness all around

Disclaimer- I own nothing Buffy

Recap:

Lily's POV-

THAT'S BUFFY SUMMER'S!

* * *

Outside view-

The room was filled with so many questions that it was hard to know who said what. The only one sound that everyone knew who was making it was Buffy or the Wilder.

Giles was wiping his glasses off and muttering to himself.

Willow was in a panic babble fit.

Xander was so pissed/ scared that he just stayed seated in his chair and said nothing.

Dawn was shocked but not freaked out, because how cool was it to have a sister that could shift like that.

Faith looked ready to bolt and wondering if that would happen to her.

Kennedy was trying to calm Willow down.

And Lily was thunderstruck.

The rest just wanted to know what the hell was going on.

Tara was busy trying to have Buffy turn back so she could tell the others what was going on and almost missed the question sent her way.

"Tara, my dear I think you should take Buf… _**IT**_, upstairs" it was Xander, and a very angry one at that.

"I think that's the best right now" she didn't miss what he was so obviously saying. He was going to be had to win over that was for sure.

Once Buffy was safely tucked away in their room Tara left to run and get as much food as she could carry and maybe even recruit a second pair of hands.

On her way there she could hear the whispers all around her.

'Did you hear? That wonder slayer Buffy is a demon!'

'we were way off base, she a demon!"

Demon every other word out of any ones mouth was demon. It broke Tara's heart that everyone was so willing to condemn first before they looked at what was underneath. They had done it to Faith and that had been nearly apocalyptic.

* * *

Tara POV-

She was halfway to the kitchen before she even relished that she had no idea where it was. Sighing, Tara turned to the nearest body and asked.

"Excuse me but could you tell me where the kitchen is?"

The girl stood a good foot over her and had shortly cropped fire red hair, the style looked as if she had a bad case of bed head but it oddly suited her.

"Sure, my name is Lily and I saw what happened earlier, that was wicked."

Someone has been hanging around Faith a little she thinks.

"I don't think it was 'wicked' at all. Buffy could have hurt or killed Willow. And if I hadn't been there then that could have been a possibility."

Lily nodded in agreement, but she wasn't much of a, what if, kind of person so didn't dwell on it.

"Here we go my lady, the kitchen" and sweated her arms out in a grand show of the room.

Tara smiled and walked over to the refrigerator, opened it and severed what was in stoked. There was everything you could think of; including what looked like blood pudding? Sighing Tara tuned and found a large tray and started to pile on all kinds of food that Buffy could sink her teeth into. When the tray was full Tara found another tray and piled it with more food and a jug of milk then tuned to Lily.

"Could you help me out again and help me carry this up to my room?"

Lily smiled and picked up the heavier of the two and fallowed Tara to her room. As they carefully navigated the halls and the other bodies in said halls, Tara studied the other women.

She stood a good 5' 11" and was not stick thin but she was not overly muscle either. She had large hands and thick lags. A ready smile and summer grass eyes. Over all the girl was nice to look at, and there was something there that nagged at her to keep an eye on her.

They were only a few steps away from the door when they heard a sound that made everyone in hearing distance shiver, Buffy was awake.

They quickly had the door open and Tara stepped in first and the moment she did the roaring stopped. With a huge sigh of relief Tara set the tray down on the table in the corner and Lily did the same then booked it for the door, not wanting to be any were near the Wilder if it was still pissed.

The soft click of the door spurred the large Buffy beast into movement and Tara once again found herself on the ground with the Wilder purring in her lap.

"I brought you some food gra* and some of it will not last for long so please eat and get off of me" and she gave the Wilder a playful shove.

With a shove back the wilder got up and walked over to the table and started eating. A thought stood out in the front of Tara mind, why hadn't Buffy turned back yet? Last time she shifted was because of the dream and the change back had been quick. But it had been nearly 4 hours now and still Buffy was showing no signs of hanging back. So she asked.

"Gra, way haven't you turned back yet?"

The wilder stopped for a moment and swallow the bit she had taken and turn to her.

"Danger, here" and she turned back to her eating.

Tara froze, danger, here? How? Willow and all the slayers on the grounds, how? So she asked.

"Buffy, sweetie, what do you mean?"

The wilder turned to face her again and said in a low rumble.

"Dark One, walk here" and turns go to turn back but falls over and quick as light changes back to her human form.

Tara rushed over and gently placed her lovers head in her lap and waited for her to wake up.

As she waited thou she thought over what the wilder had said and sighed. So there was a 'Dark One' on the grounds, but for the life of her she couldn't feel it any were on the grounds. If it was turn then the Dark One or whatever is stronger then anything they have faced before. And that scared the living daylights out of her.

* * *

Dark One POV-

The time has come at last…

(please review, I would really like to know your thoughts and maybe a few ideas as to what I could do next might get the next chapter out faster *grin*/*wink*)


	17. Chapter 16 From the Past

Chapter 16- From the Past

(I have picked up a wonderful and very helpful Beta and my co writer for this chapter and hopefully for the rest until the end of this story, Alchemist PAC, *points* you know who you are.)

Disclaimer- I own nothing Buffy

Recap:

"A ghrá, way haven't you turned back yet?"

The wilder stopped for a moment and swallow the bit she had taken and turn to her.

"Danger, here" and she turned back to her eating.

"What?"

Then the Wilder passes out and hitting the floor with a loud thud that rattles the empty plates on the table and trays.

- And now on with the story -

-

_Smoke hung heavy in the air, clogging lungs and burning eyes as it made its way across the sky. Stars could be seen blinking in and out through small gaps that formed in the smoke as the wind blown through it. Bloody screams and cries of pain sounded across the land only to be silenced as homes burned and lives were lost. _

_On a nearby hill, a lone man stood covered in a blood red cloak that was decorated with demon horns and skins. He watched in safety as the small village below him burned bright against the night sky and smiled as he saw his pawn's shadow move between the flames._

_The sounds of death and despair were his lullabies. A look of peace seemed to cross his face as he listened to the sounds that where being made below. He smiled as if he had just heard the sweetest song ever played before. _

_With the world's strongest power at his beck and call; he couldn't help but laugh and revel in the feelings of power it brought him. With each town and village that fell he was one step closer to ruling this world. And when that was done the next step was to conquer other worlds and then, perhaps, other dimensions. _

_As the last of the screams faded, a hunched form appeared in front of him. Long, black matted hair swayed in the breeze and painted skin was reviled in the flickering fire light. A thick rune incrusted collar, two sizes to big, could be seen hanging on the beings thin neck._

"_You are doing so well my pet" he said, as he gently patted the matted hair. He then turned to go. Snapping his fingers as he walked away to call 'his pet' to follow him._

_In a final bloom of fire light the form's face was illuminated. The light revealed the haggard face of a young girl, splattered in blood, with a scar on her chest in the shape of a word that said:_

'_**Slayer**__'_

_-_

With a gasp Buffy shot out of bed; not noticing that she nearly knocked Tara in the head in her hast to get up. She was too scared to see past anything but the images that flickered at the front of her mind. Her breath came in short, quick gasp as she set on the bed trembling, sweat running down her face. Questions raced through her mind.

It couldn't be true, could it? It wasn't her, was it? It can't be, can it?

"A ghrá*?"

The sound was enough to slightly startle her from the waking nightmare she was caught up in. Turning toward the sound, she seemed to stare straight through Tara. The look in Buffy's eyes caused Tara to flinch slightly. They were glassed over in thought, clouded with fear and panic, and they even seemed to hold a small spark of self loathing. The last one worried Tara the most, and she hoped she was just imagining things. Trying once again to comfort her lover, Tara reaches up and gently touches Buffy's cheek. At her touch Buffy springs to life and jumps off the bed. Quickly picking a set of clothes form her unpacked bags, she heads for the door.

"I need a shower…" Buffy mumbles as she passes by the bed on her way out the door.

The empty sound in her voice was not lost to either of them, but Buffy ignores it while shutting and locking the door to the bath room.

Turning on the water, she stepped in to the shower not caring about the temperature; she just had to clear her head. Buffy knew her actions weren't fair to Tara, but she couldn't take the risk of the dream being true; of it being real. If it was then she might hurt Tara whither she meant to or not. Sighing she shook her head, trying to rid herself of that line of thought. It just couldn't be real. No matter how real the dream felt, it just couldn't be real. Could it?

A dark thought from the deep dark parts of her mind whispered.

'You're a demon, and demons kill.'

By the time her thoughts had cohered to some sort of order; she had decided on what to do and had formed a plan.

-

Setting on the bed, after Buffy had run out, Tara felt lost and confused. 'What just happened?' Tara wondered to herself. 'First Buffy changes back and then she passes out. After I get her in the bed she lays there for about an hour later before she suddenly wakes up looking as though the First was back. Goddess, the look in her eyes when she woke up. She must have been having a bad dream. But when I tried to calm her down she acts like she's scared of me, or scared to be touched by me. Then she just all of a sudden jumps up and runs for the bathroom mumbling something about needing a shower.'

When she hears the water start up Tara sighs. Realizing that setting there was going to help things she gets up. Carefully piling the dishes from lunch on top of the trays, she takes them all back down to the kitchen. Once there she rinses of the dishes and then loads them into the dishwasher before starting it. The entire time she's cleaning up, she tries to think of a way to reach her lover. A way that she can help Buffy with the pain she saw in her eyes

'I hope every thing is going to be ok.'

-

Else were in the castle, friends and family sat reading flitting through scrolls and books trying to find some clue as to what was going on with Buffy.

Dawn was sleepy and really wanted to get back to Brian. She turned the page of another dusty tome and skimmed over the page when a word caught her eye. Focusing fully on the page Dawn sat up.

"Guys, I think I found something…"

Every one turned to her.

"that is wonderful Dawn, please read it to us."

As she was about to start a loud thud from outside the window startled them.

-

Tara had loaded the last of the dishes when she suddenly feels a spike of panic run through her heart.

"Buffy…" she says as she runs back to their room.

When she gets there she notices that some of Buffy's bags are missing from where they had left the luggage unpacked. She shivers slightly as she feels a cold wind blowing into the room. Looking up she sees that it is coming form the window that was left wide open to the world. For a few brief seconds she's frozen in shock, but then it hits her like a tornado. Even as she feels the tears start making their way down her cheeks; one thought starts running through her head. Even as her legs give out from under her; one thought keeps running through her head. Even the pain in her knees from where they hit the cold, hard stone floor of the castle wasn't enough to shake that one thought from running through her head like a broken record.

Buffy had run again.

(Hopefully this chapter is better than my last few I know its short but bear with me ok. Please review. All comments are welcome. And thanks you AL.)

***** a ghrá- my love


	18. Chapter 17 Remembering

Chapter 17- Remembering

Disclaimer: I own nothing Buffy

Recap:

Buffy had run away again.

* * *

February 30th, 2001-

_She was floating peacefully in a haze of white. Knowing from the depth of her being that everything would be alright, her friends and family were safe and the world was in no danger. She had finally earned her rest._

_Then she had felt it, a pull, sharp and strong on her soul. She panicked and tried to grab onto something, she felt it again. Then she was engulfed in a red light and was hurtling down and for only a moment she thought she was being sent to hell when she felt a black spike rip through her. But it had passed and small weightless moment held her. _

_Then she breathing again scared out of her mind. Trapped in a box, and filled to the brim with feelings that she once thought were no more. _

_She was back and something was different with her. _

March 2nd 2001-

_The first time that it had happened, when she had changed, she had been out patrolling. The singing was getting to be a pain and they still had no clue as to whom or what was the cause of it. _

_She wasn__'__t paying attention to her surroundings, so when the mob of nearly 20 vampires surrounded her, she barely had the time to dodge the first punch. They had wised up and attacked her two or three at a time so she was constantly blocking and dodging. _

_For as long as she could she held them off, looking for a way out and make a run for it. But there were too many even though she had taken a good lot out, but she hurt and one of them had managed to sneak a knife into her side so she was losing blood._

_She was losing and losing fast, fear and regret was the only thing keeping her alive. When another knife cut into her leg, bringing her to her knees she knew that she going to die. _

_As one of the vamps grabbed her and bit into her neck she thought about how she was going back. But the thought didn__'__t last long as she felt something quake inside her. Long dead instincts to survive roared and rushed through her. Then she blacked out._

_When she came to the sun had risen and reflected off the gray grass. She would not remember what had happened till later that morning. And when she did she went to great lengths to keep it hidden. _

May 7th 2001_-_

_Tara was dead and again something snapped in her. The one person who was able to understand and comfort her was gone. She had held it together till they had stopped Willow from destroying the world in her grief. However, when the sun set she let go and tore through every demon that got in her way._

August 12, 2003-

_The sun was shining off the hood of the cab. The water glinted like diamonds and the wind rushed passed the open window. She had reached the end of a long journey and was unbelievably tired. So, she fell asleep relying on the driver to wake her when her stop was near._

_But her sleep was plagued with dark images of death and fire. Of an evil man in a red fur cloak whose laugh chilled her, and the ghosting feeling of something hanging around her neck. Her chest burned and her fingers tingled and the hunger to kill filled her mouth. _

_She was dragged from her dream by the voice of the cab driver telling her that this was her stop. She smiled and grabbed her backpack and stepped out of the car and pulled out some bills. _

_Once the cab was out of sight Buffy turned and looked at the place that the pull in her chest had brought her._

October 4, 2003_-_

_Marcus was out getting tonight__'__s dinner and she was closing down the store. It had been nearly three months since she had come to Greece and made a home here. She had spent a week going from door way to door way looking for a place to stay. Till that rainy night she collapsed on Marcus' steps._

_Marcus was a kind, trusting man; taking her in without much question. But she never gave him much to question her about. She was happy and the darkness within her had settled down. _

_She heard the lock turn down stairs and she started pulling out pots and pans._

_Mid grab she froze, flashes of death clouded her thoughts and blinded her vision._

'_A young girls face stared lifelessly back at her. Smoke filled her nose and blood coated her tongue__'_

_Marcus had found her on the floor out cold._

December 25- 2005_-_

_It was her and Marcus' second year celebrating Christmas together and they were doing much better this time around. They had a small plastic tree decorated with lights and two roasts in the oven. He had caught on quick that she needed more food than most earlier on in their friendship. How she missed her family but she could not risk going back when she still felt unstable and dangerous. _

January 5th 2006_-_

_She had found a small broken down boat one day as she was walking the beach and the moment she saw it floating among the others in the harbor, she knew. Running back to Marc she told him about it and they made arrangements to have it hauled up to the dry dock. _

_For the next few months, every spare moment she had was spent rebuilding and learning how to sail her new boat._

April 28th 2006_-_

_She had been sailing all day and through most of the night. She told Marc that he might not see her for a few days; he had just given her a smile and told her to be safe._

_A few days ago she had stumbled onto an island that was populated by a magic market. It was local to that chain of islands, and since it was magical no one questioned her about her changes. It was here that she was able to really relax and work on controlling the beast inside herself._

_The dark visions had mellowed, but every now and then she could hear a voice at the edge of her sleep calling to her. Whatever called her out into the blackness of the edge scared her. She didn__'__t want to go but it still pulled her. _

_She wanted to go home, she was lost and she feared that no one would find her._

(sorry it took so long, my life was throughing me some curves and i had some writers block. but ill try not to take so long next time ok.)


	19. Chapter 18 After her

Chapter 18- After Her

Disclaimer: I own nothing Buffy

Recap:

_She wanted to go home, she was lost and she feared that no one would find her._

-

Dawn's POV-

I heard the commotion even before I saw it. She had been reading with Brian in the library when they heard a loud thud of foot falls running past the door. And living with this family it could have been a number of things. But with the return of Buffy and Tara, the long list was cut to two, one; Buffy could have scared the ghost out of them or two; something was wrong.

Jumping to her feet she had flung open the door and gave chase.

When they reached the main common room they saw an out of breath Tara bent over and trying to rush out something through her inhales and exhales.

"Buffy is gone again." was what caught their attention.

She wanted to scream, cry, hit something; anything but she was too shocked. Her sister was gone again and she thought that life was finally going to get better.

"We have to find her!"

Dawn looked to the voice and found Lily in front of her, helping Tara to sit down.

-

Faith's POV-

'That stupid bitch!' she thought.

She had felt something wrong or off about her sister slayer and knew the moment that Buffy had run. She had always had a stronger connection to Buffy than any other slayer. Maybe it was because she had spent more time together or what but she had always known how Buffy had felt, no matter how far away she was.

The forest was thick but that didn't stop her from chasing after Buffy. Her emotions were too raw and her shields were not strong enough for her to not track them.

She had a secret, one she had kept from the rest of the gang. Years back maybe a year or two after Buffy and pulled a rabbit and disappeared. She had found were Buffy had been hiding, had watched her fix up an old moldy boat. Buffy had looked at peace for the first time in a really long time and she could not bring herself to bring the dark cloud of reality back into her world.

So she left Buffy in her hollow and kept it a secret ever since.

She could see Buffy stumbling up ahead. So she put on a burst of speed and dived for her.

They crashed to the ground in a tangle of arms and legs out of breath.

"Come one B! You ran away once already, if you bolt again what good is it going to do. Take it from me it ain't going to do squat but hurt the people that love you."

They thrashed and rolled, Buffy trying in vain to get away in a blind panic.

"I know you're scared but think about Blondie, I can feel it B, you love her like no other and here you are running. What's got you so freaked?"

The wiggling mass under her stills, then a low thunder like growl eco's from deep in its chest.

Faith feel's the surge of power and quickly jump of Buffy but not before something ripples her soul.

The sound of joint's popping and ligaments stretching fills the ears of any that are near. Clothes rip and hair grows in waves along flesh. A snapping and popping of another kind is heard, Faith looks and sees that Buffy's shoes have completely burst and fallen away from now larger and sharper feet.

It was a sight for her, one that would last for some time at least. On the not so cool side their link allowed her to feel some of the pain that went along with this shift. Some thing was not right with this, she could feel it in her toes that something was wicked wrong.

"Yo, B, cool it! Put the whiskers away and come home ok. T-bear is waitin' and some then ain't right here. Now we're going to head on back to home sweet home and try to work, whatever is going on out, ok?"

The low thunder was heard again before a gravely and pain laced voice muffles out.

"Danger… demon…not…safe…" then promptly, passes out.

"Great now I have to haul your furry ass all the way back, great just great, maybe next time ya could, I don't know change back? I mean is it too hard to ask?"

Grumbling continues all the way home.

-

Tara POV-

Her mate was crying, pained sobs and raged roars. She could feel a split in the soul of her love. Something was happening, something very big, she could feel it in her bones, that war was coming. And that war started with Buffy.

She ran to the front door just before Faith could kick it open and helped her drag in her unconscious lover. The moment Buffy's head was settled safely in Tara warm lap; she then shifted back and curled what she could of her body around her mates'.

"My goddess baby, what is happening to you?"

Her mussing was interrupted by a throat clearing and she looked up to see Giles standing in the door way.

"We need to get her in bed."

That was it, just get her to bed. It really is the only thing that they could do as Buffy is passed out. So with a sigh she gently handed over her lover to a grope of girls that would take her to their room and followed.

Brian's POV-

"Dawn? What is wrong with your sister? I mean was she always like this?"

Dawn just shacks her head.

"No, she is usually more level headed then this. But with what has happened to her, I don't think I can blame her. Look Brian we will talk more about this tomorrow, right now I just want to check on my sister."

And with a soft kiss to my cheek she heads off up stairs.

Dark one POV-

Oh this was too easy, with as long as he had lived, he knew that he had to be careful. Because nothing was this easy, even when looked like it would be.

"The stars look beautiful tonight."

(dear readers, I'M BAAAACK!)


	20. Chapter 19 Shadows in the Light

Chapter 19 – Shadows in the light

Disclaimer- I own nothing Buffy

Last time-

Dark ones POV-

The stars look beautiful tonight.

On to the story-

* * *

Buffy POV-

I could see it, the sliver of light the peeked in through my eyes. Even with them closed the light still seeped in. A sound joined the light, a gentle humming that warmed my chilled heart and chased away the dark dreams that plagued me. But I knew that they would only for a moment.

The pull was strong; whatever was calling me, it was winning.

And before that happened I want one last night in the arms of my soul mate.

It was like trying to reach through sand and molasses, my arms felt heavy and my mind felt clouded. Oh, for just one last time, before the darkness called me away.

Little by little I bridged the gap; my love looked so beautiful in rest. The hardness that is life, that could touch her, vanishes away like ice-cream at a children's birthday party. She is breath taking!

Blue, a blue that could only be defined as Tara blue looked so lovingly into my very soul. How is it that a jaded worn out old slayer like me ever won the heart of someone so?

"Buffy… sweetie, try and get some sleep. We have a long day ahead of us and you more then I need the rest."

Oh that voice, sweet water over velvet, rice yet smooth, it pulls at me. How could I not but answer.

The slowness that had gripped me falls away and I burst into action to gently love her, and I do.

I love her, so gently and so slowly, I want to make it last and imprint her deep into my soul. Because this may be the very last time I ever will get to hold her like this for a very long time.

I tempt cries and moans from her for I don't know how long and I don't care. I tease and nip at hip and neck, I have her so on edge that she is begging me to let her cum, but she doesn't know that I am right there with her. Hearing her and seeing her in this state drives me wild.

"OH, GODDESSE… Buffy…PLEASE!"

Its time, I can no longer hold back, I need her so much.

"Yes my love but let us cum together."

I shift and bring our equally swollen cores together and with just the gentlest kiss of our clits, we cum. We cum so powerfully that we have to shut our eyes to the magical manifestation of our release. This has happened before, but this time I feel something ebb, like the tide waves on the beach. Something swelled in me then flows out. But I was really too high to wonder at it.

When the shivering finally stops, I open my eyes and with what little strength I had left, I tuck first my soul mate under the covers then myself.

I don't fall asleep right away, that pull is back, and it is back in force. I have time only to whisper

"I love you"

The last thing I see before my vision goes black is the sight of Tara and her crooked content smile.

* * *

Tara's POV-

The first thought I had as I my mind wakes up is.

'Something is not right'

And there is. I reach across and pray, I know the truth, I just want it not to be.

When my finger tips feel only cool sheet, I answer what I already knew in my heart. I didn't need to go raving and racing through the house to see, that I would not find Buffy here or even outside.

My chest constricts, it's hard to breath, my vision blurs and my head swims. With an anguished sod, I cry. I cry for I don't know how long. I half think I hear the door crash open and panicked yells, but I pay no mind. I just can't seem to stop crying?

There are hands on me now, callused and small, they belong to Dawn. She has picked me up and cradled me in her arms; I cry harder because even thou they are so like my love, they are not.

"Tara?"

It's spoken softly but I hear it.

"Tara what happened?"

I can only tell her the truth. And sadly that truth is.

"I don't know."

* * *

No one's POV-

It's dark, damp and smells like death. Two figures stand side by side overlooking a small burning village. The shrill cries of the villagers, what was left that had not already fallen to claws and teeth were burned alive in their own homes.

The fire was the only source of light this moonless night. A gently mist of rain could not temper the wood and flesh eating flames the consumed the once thriving town.

The two figures watched, one standing the other in a squat like sit similar to a dog sat at its master's heel, watched over the fruits of their labor.

Only a twisted and dark chuckle could be heard from the one that stood. Its red cape and horned hood fluttered in a surprisingly gentle wind.

And much like a master and its dog, red reached out a hand and patted the head of tangled blood matted fur.

"That is a good girl. Oh I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of myself. To control a power like I do is a dream that only so few even begin to dream anymore."

The cloaked one then turned its back on the carnage below and walked off. The figure still sitting watched on as a single crack of lightning lit up the now human beasts face.

With dead lifeless eyes, Buffy Summers looked on, with the tasted of blood and flesh on her tongue.

"Slayer, COME!"

Her master called and with a final machine like glance, she turns and obeys.

(Yes I know it's been a long time, let us all hope it won't be so long before the next update. Reviews are nice and welcomed.


	21. Chapter 20 The Waiting

Chapter 20- The Waiting game

Disclaimer- I own nothing Buffy

Last time-

No one's POV-

With dead lifeless eyes, Buffy Summers looked on, with the tasted of blood and flesh on her tongue.

"Slayer, COME!"

Her master called. And With a final machine like glance, she turns and obeys.

On to the story-

* * *

Willows POV-

It has been a month and a half now. The core gang is fractured. Giles barely leaves his office to do much else then go to the bathroom; he eats and sleeps in there.

Xander and Faith and been doubling up the training hours for the girls because there has been an outbreak in demon attacks and small villages and towns being, well from the few I have seen, slaughtered.

Dawn and Lilly have been working together, mostly Lilly being a shoulder to cry on when Dawn losses it and brake down in tears.

And Tara, oh dear sweet Tara is catatonic, every night she would cry, walk around like a zombie and has recently been retching up whatever food Dawn and everyone else can get her to eat. She looks so lost; she looks how I felt when I thought I had lost her. No one knows what to do.

As for me I have been tapping into every know information outlet I have. And let me tell you I once had to trade away an entire box full of my own underwear to get a tidbit of info that, if I hadn't, would have whipped out a whole island off the Philippians chain.

Everyone is so tired and I haven't seen Brian, you would think the guy would be there for his grieving girlfriend?

I too am so tired, two hours of sleep a day is not enough, but I have no choice. As I walk by Tara's room I can hear the sound o her throwing up. It is so heart wrenching, hearing her go through so much agony, wondering if the one you love is even still alive and if they are, will they ever be seen again.

I'm about to knock when I hear a horrible crash from the other side!

"TARA!"

I by pass all else and run inside. When I retch the bathroom I see her there lay in a heap on the floor and blood oozing from her hand.

"Tara, Tara, please wake up!" as I carefully kneel next to her I grab a towel and gently wrap her hand and place her head in my lap. With that done I pull out my phone call the emergency line I send out a mantle call to anyone and everyone for help.

I hear feet pounding our way.

* * *

Desk nurse POV- Hospital

The waiting room has never been so crowded, I watched as three people wear trails in the carpet, two sitting with their heads in their hands and one has been let back with the patient.

I watch them; they seem like a band of unlikely folk.

There is a tall gray haired man with glasses; he is one of the pacers. He is wearing black loafers, brown slacks, and white button up and of all things a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches.

Another youngish looking man with black boyishly cut hair and an eye patch paces with the older gentleman, he is wearing black jeans and a long sleeve turtle neck also black and sneaker.

The last of the pacers is a woman with rich red hair cut to above her shoulders. She looks the most upset of the three. Her skirt whips as it hits a chair leg ever fifth step, it too is black along with her low cut draw string peasant shirt.

Infect they are all wearing mostly black, the wild hair brunette and the glimpse of the girl that went back are the only two with some other color.

They all look like they are readying for a funeral?

All I can do now is do my job and pray for them.

* * *

Dawns POV-

Life sucks… hospitals suck… these god forsaken chairs suck ever more!

Waiting sucks… and it is all we can do till a lab coat wearing clown that works here comes out and tells us what is wrong with Tara.

I was with Lilly in my room having yet another crying fit. Lilly was holding me and riding out the waves of my sorrow with me when she jerks and lets go of me.

"What…? Lilly" I see her stand and run out of the room.

I follow and I know something bad had happened when I see the familiar hallway leading to an even more familiar door.

What happened after that was chaos, Willow was trying to wake Tara who was now being carried in Lilly's arms. The other slayers in the house were crowding the hall having responded to whatever Lilly had responded to.

Me? I was in shock, I watched on in fear as they rushed off.

I only snapped out of my fuck when a body harshly collided with me and knocked me into the hallway wall.

For a few seconds all I heard was the ringing in my ears. Then the person who bumped me was picking my up and asking if I was ok?

All I did was nod and race off after Willow and the others. A few eons later we arrived at the hospital, they took Tara and I have was allowed to go back with her when I told them she was my sister-in-law It is true enough.

They took her in to an examination room and when I tried to come in the asked me to wait outside in a chair across the hall and wait.

Waiting sucked!

* * *

Tara's POV-

The morning I woke up and found Buffy missing and the soul ripping depression I felt when I could no longer feel her soul touching mine, shattered me.

I remember glimpses of faces and a few words, but all I felt… was nothing.

What little food I ate tasted like ash and what little sleep I got was filled with nightmares. It was the same one trick pony day in and day out. I would wake up screaming for Buffy, shower of the sweat, have Dawn try to get me to eat then shower again then try to sleep without dreaming, rinse and repeat.

The days I started to wake up nauseous was an almost welcomed change, I say almost because throwing up was not of the fun and dry heaving was even more not of the fun.

For a week I would wake up and rush to the bathroom and on the eight day I had the misfortune of looking at myself in the mirror.

I didn't recognize the girl looking back at me. The gaunt and frail looking creature was not me, and I thought.

'Who are you?' and then anger swelled up and I struck out at her, only to smash my hand into my waiting reflection. I remember pain then I was falling but after that it was all black.

When I woke up I relished I was at the hospital. I didn't see any one and couldn't call out for someone because I hadn't used my voice to do anything but scream and cry.

So I sat back… and waited.

(Sorry for the wait. I had some blockage, but it's better now. Please review.)


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